Interesting and often not too interesting things are happening and continue to happen in Ghana.

Just like the story of Ali Baba and the 40 thieves, a story has just been written in Ghanaian politics and it is called, General Mosquito and the 17 thieves.

The atmosphere in the entire country is submerged, soaked and inundated with politics. Well, did I say politics? Probably, politics, yes.

And in Ghana, when we talk and say anything and there is no politics in it, then forget it, it doesn’t make the news!

And so it came to pass, that an astute politician, and one time Member of the august house of Ghanaian politics, Parliament, decided to do a song, a chorus and a dance on the streets of Accra under the simmering heat of one afternoon.

Clad in red and other mood changing colours, that could easily make the strong hearted either to feel sad or even weep, he led a troupe or some orchestra of some sort, he was also the conductor and they sang with unrestrained glee.

The title of their song was, “Not long time ago, there were 17 thieves.”

Yes, 17. He counted them all, and made no mistake about the figure – 17 of them.

He called some perspiring promise spewing politicians thieves. Common thieves he called them. He even swore that they were meeting to elect the Chief of all thieves at a congress.

The song instantly won a Grammy of some sort. It became a popular song, even among those who do not know the difference between high and low notes, everyone learned to sing it.

The song received free air time on both TV and radio and some very highly regarded newspapers carried the words of the song on their front pages.

But before the dust could settle over the chart bursting song, another group, a motley collection of political followers clad in chiefly kente, lace and ‘ogede’ organised themselves and met for a press conference. Oh sorry, some wore party colours, to show their loyalty to the party that begot them, fed and clothed them.

What else? In Ghana, if you have the darnest thing to say, you don’t even have to know how to say it, because perhaps, you may not be so endowed with the ability to speak the Queen’s English.

Just shout out, press conference, and lace your synopsis with some ‘politalk’, and the entire discerning media in Ghana would flock to the venue. Just make sure you have some little ‘soli’ neatly packaged to dole out as goodwill.

The media did not miss the opportunity to be there. Radio, TV, newspapers, they were all there and they did a good job of it. They aired, showed and printed what these people had to say.

These people were upset. They didn’t like the way the General, whom they all call Mosquito labelled the perspiring politicians thieves. And the 17 of them all, he called thieves.

They commanded, ordered, and advised him to apologise or face the sternest looking judge in his court room.

But too bad for them, they were unsuccessful in their attempt to force the politically choleric General to back down on his song and disown it.

He barked back at them and said, “Yes. I sang the song. The 17 thieves, et al.”

The General says he does not fear any one! In fact, he knows all the thieves by name and he could possibly tell everyone what they have stolen.

He has proof. Says, General Mosquito.

You see, no one can beat the Ghanaian politician. They come into political prominence and win power by running down their opponents. In Ghana, you will never win political power if you discuss the issues.

The second rule is also that, in addition to mudslinging, which you must learn, practice and be very good at, you must learn to make promises you know deep down in your heart that you can never fulfil even if your lifetime was doubled and you were made the president for life.

You must also know how to roll your sleeves down, enter the deepest part of the foulest gutter and perfect the art of scooping dirt which you must throw in a special way to soil your opponent. You would be a political star overnight! Trust me.

As we were at it, the General’s assertiveness received the biggest political boost of all times. His party came strongly behind him with some proofs. They proved that there indeed are 17 thieves. According to newspaper editorials and reports!

And they did, at another press conference!

I keep wondering where Ghana politics is heading. It is either you get power at all cost and do thing or very little with it, or your competitor does not get it all or when he gets it, make sure you keep painting him black, till he looks darker than the night.

And so it came to pass, that the story of General Mosquito and the 17 thieves, as I was saying, has been put on hold till after December 22, 2007.

We wait to see.


Authored by Emmanuel K. Dogbevi

Email: edogbevi@hotmail.com