“Show me your friend and I will show you your character.” This is a popular adage we are all familiar with. We easily remember it anytime people we have considered as friends have let us down.

Parents usually use it as a warning to their children when they are suspicious of the kind of friends their children are seeing. Our other friends would also raise a finger and quote the saying to us whenever we go telling them the plight we have suffered in the hands of some friends, but in this instance it comes with another common reminder, “I told you so.”

Friendship can be described differently, depending on one’s experiences, environment, and upbringing.

While some people fear to make friends with others, because a member of their family might have been let down by a friend, or friendship might have led someone they know into trouble like even getting killed or going to jail, because they became friends with these people without knowing much about their backgrounds, there are others who are good at making friends – and they do within minutes.

There are some people, who can make friends with you, and like diamonds, they are friends with you forever, but you might become friends with people who forget about you the minute they leave your presence.

Some friends get closer to you, only because they think they can make some material or other gains from being friends with you. They come to take advantage of you.

But this is how I see friendship. Friendship is the sharing of common interests with another person. It is a relationship in which there is mutual benefit for all parties, and everyone’s well being is sought after.

For instance Jesus Christ gave a description of what friendship entails when he told his disciples these words. “Now you are no more servants, I call you friends, because I tell you everything.” Friends share a lot in common, including secrets.

A friend should be someone in whose company you feel secure, confident and relaxed. You tell a friend everything he needs to know from and about you, because friendships are cemented by trust! For those of you who are familiar with the Bible, it says, “a friend sticks closer than a brother.”

A friend is someone who will stick with you all the way – in good and in bad times. Friends do not turn their backs when you are in trouble.

However, it is not advisable to rush into making friends. It is appropriate to be circumspect in choosing your friends.

It is acceptable to carefully study, take a close look at someone you intend to be friends with. And the questions you would want to ask are; can you cope with the prospective friend’s temperament? Do you like his or her eating habits? Would you like to share whatever you have with him or her without any qualms? Does the person have a good track record of acceptable behaviour?

Because a friend should be someone you would not be afraid to express yourself with, in whose presence you should feel comfortable and someone you can easily share filial love with.

Friendship is a give and take affair. You should be ready to endure and tolerate your friend.

David and Jonathan are a typical example of good friends. They loved each other unconditionally, and they were knit together in so many ways. It was so, to the extent that they promised to safeguard each other’s lives. Indeed, Jonathan stuck to David at the risk of losing his heirship to the throne that his father then occupied.

Making friends is an inevitable part of our lives, but the good Book reminds us, “A friend of the wise, becomes wise, but the friend of the fool, shall be destroyed.”

It is necessarily that you take precautions in choosing who your friends are, so that you avoid the possibility of falling into bad company that could potentially ruin you. An Akan proverb says, “It is because of friendship, that the crab has no head.”

Whoever becomes your friend is a matter of choice. And even though, it is not easy to determine how someone might act in the future, it is better to enter into friendships with your eyes widely open, making sure that at least, you could stick your neck out for your friend, because you both are honest to each other and know what ought to be known about one another.

And always remember, “A friend in need, is a friend indeed.”


By Emmanuel K. Dogbevi

Email: edogbevi@hotmail.com