You don’ know the TIN…

You don’ know the TIN…
Source: Mawuli Zogbenu |
Date: 30-11-2018 Time: 08:11:40:am

If you haven’t been there yet, then you don’t know the ‘TIN’! The leadership of the Church of Pentecost Ghana past and present need a pat on their backs! Kw33333! Rev Prof Onyinah, you be the Don! I am still wondering why we have such visionary leaders in Ghana and we are still struggling. These are people who believe that the only way to make dreams come true is to wake up and not the talking talking talking…always!

Last weekend took me to a place around Kasoa Millenium City called Pentecost Convention Centre; it’s just a few kilometers away from the Kasoa toll booth. The humongous serene community with well-structured facilities with solar panels all over in an organized terrain and first class road network sharing horizon with the Atlantic Ocean made me realize that the ‘quiet’ men of God have the vision we so much desire!  What an investment both spiritual and pecuniary! I can’t say much but you can also try by just driving there bcos by so doing, you may not need to travel to Israel to go and see Bethlehem! Proper planning paaa be this! Christened Yesukrom, one can virtually see Jesus in and around there! Charlie, people are not joking kraaa o! Rev Prof Onyinah and your predecessors and successors, Mawu ne yra mi, sia! Amen!  

How I wish my Church too could do something bigger maybe around Winneba or Dodowa! Me kraaa where do I go to Church? I don’t even know. 31st December, I will decide! Don’t forget I was once a Pentecost member wai, courtesy a certain girl bi. I stopped going to that air-conditioned church when she refused to give in to my useless immoral pressures. Later I started attending another church where the girls were a bit ‘considerate’. Even that one, I stopped after the eyi and now I don’t even know where I belong! Hahaaaai!

 Ei so it been almost 5 years now and no one knows the ‘thing’? No one could still find the one who said the ‘Tweaa’! Hon Gabriel ‘Abranti3’, you dey? Hahahahahaaaa! Anyway I heard the security agencies are all still looking for the person who said the ‘Tweaa’ or was the person a ghost like ‘corruption’? We all say corruption is a societal canker and yet everybody says they are not corrupt!

Before any girl calls me this Xmas, for mobile money, I would request to have their TIN number first! This is the condition many men have started giving their girls. It is really helped me save a lot of money in the past few weeks bcos many people don’t know their TIN or have not even started the process of getting the TIN!

The masons and carpenters who do ‘by-day’ don’t pay tax o yet when we are bashing politicians, they are the people who bash harder than those of us who pay tax. Everybody must get the TIN since you don’t know the TIN! If you don’t have it, there is no way you can access certain things like passports and new bank accounts o, yoo. We need the taxes for national development.

Ei happy birthday to ex-President John Mahama on your 60th birthday o! May God grant you good health and more wisdom as He is granting ex-Presidents Rawlings and Kufuor as well as His Excellency the sitting President, Nana Addo!

Christmas is coming again o and so is WORLD AIDS DAY on Saturday December 1. Angela of Adenta came to mind when I wanted to celebrate bronya last year with swag. She also had me in mind as a substitute. Someone disappointed her and she needed to fill in the space; I needed to fill in the space too bcos I deliberately provoked Ablavi to get angry so she does not make any demand for any Xmas eyi.

I like Ablavi because she is ‘affordable’. Akuwa of Sakaman sent a message wishing me Merry Xmas. She prefers teddy bears as Xmas gift. Angela prefers iphone. For Ablavi, anything goes. Give her ‘roasted plantain and she would love you forever – very modest.

I became the most confused man last year X’mas. I reached the guest house before Angela did. The rooms were fully booked.

Why are so many people so immoral, I bemoaned; only reminding myself that I was not a saint. Surprisingly, not a single vehicle could be seen in the premises of the guest house and the vehicle owners were nowhere to be found either. It was unlike some movie houses where as soon as you park your car, they cover it against only God knows what! Driving out to pick Angela at Ashiye junction, I saw more than 15 cars sparingly hiding around one million miles away from the guest house.

When I got there, I spoke with the ‘boy’. Oh yes, most guest houses have at least one young boy. He assured me 2 rooms were going to be available in 25minutes.

 I picked Angie up. I managed to wait in a distance of about 200 meters away awaiting ‘emptying’ of the rooms. I didn’t want anybody to see me around as holy as I had always presented myself. I called ‘the boy’. His response was that even though 2 rooms were ready for ‘takeover’, the occupants paid for an extension. Haaba!

Eventually, Angie and I checked in at about 9.12pm. She was in the mood and got me into it. I reluctantly said the ‘opening’ prayer, protected. The second ‘session’ required some deliverance because it looks like my age was taking a toll on me. I started telling stories she would not listen to. One of such stories nearly got me slapped by her – I was repeatedly asking just to fill in the space so I can be ‘restored’ bcos ‘time heals’. Worst of all, before I could bring out the rubber to eyi, Angie held and forced my own ‘TIN’ into her and  did it ‘just like that’ with ‘no helmet’ and in no time piaaaaaa! I didn’t think twice because it was sweeter. Then I started thinking. ‘What if…’! Immediately I realized how much chance I stood at getting infected with HIV or what if she got pregnant!

Ei guys be warned o; nowadays the single girls are no longer interested in abortion o bcos of massive education; they would born for you and no DNA test would exonerate you; you don’t know the ‘thing’! This time if you make a mistake, you can promise them heaven, they would still keep it and that is when you see a lot of men confused driving ‘by hat’ in town in anger caused by themselves. It can be a real mental torture if a side Chic is determined to born for you. Not me oo, I said some men la. Hahaaa! They go born give you make you daze. That is if you are lucky. If you are not and the test proves positive for something else, hmmm, don’t worry. You can manage! After all, everybody has HIV – except that some are positive and some are negative!   

If the thoughts of HIV test comes to mind and you miss a heartbeat p3, that is an indication that the slightest mistake can get you there! AIDS is real. Don’t wait till when you get that big job that requires you to do the test; it might be fully blown by then.

I am scheduled to do a compulsory HIV test and I am not really scared. At least a test would get me to know how to manage my sexual life since medications are still available.

 I will not advise you to abstain bcos you won’t but use condom when doing it! Like I would advise, if you can’t get condom, improvise with poIythene bag in order to save generations. If one transfers the dreaded disease to his or her spouse, the future of the children cannot be guaranteed!

That notwithstanding, the disease is just like malaria or perhaps even more common now. The earlier you get to know your status, the better. Just blame it on the gods and witches in your office and you would be fine.

Now the youth under 24 years are ‘doing very well’ in this regard. Don’t think they are largely untapped making them good for ‘consumption’ o, yoo.

The ‘thing’ is there o. I often think that it is not bcos condoms are inaccessible and unaffordable which is giving rise to the infections o; but it is bcos sometimes one has the condoms alright but looks at the ‘meat’ and says as for this one di33333 it is better eaten ‘uncooked’ than cooked. You cannot tell whether the ‘thing’ is in it o. Remember sin fascinates and assassinates! AIDS is real.

Ablavi and I will meet tomorrow December 1 at Osu mall for a QUICKIE, that is a quick HIV test with Dr Alex Quaisie, CEO of Verifie and his team who have made it simple for us to do the HIV test at various strategic locations including Accra Goods Market at East Legon on December 7, Serallio, Osu on December 8 and from December 14-15, we would do another QUICKIE at the round pavilion, Trade Fair! We want to be double sure, me and Ablavi. Let’s take advantage bcos early diagnosis is better dealt with, medically! You have the ‘thing’ already o; all you need to know is whether the ‘thing’ is positive or negative! Just go for QUICKIE with Verifie!

Happy World AIDS Day!