We have all heard the saying that little kids come with little problems and big kids come with big problems.

This really does ring true for many parents of teens particularly when their kids start dating or become obsessed with a new romantic partner. Keep in mind that I am not talking about a simple crush here or even teens who like each other and text fairly frequently. Instead, I am talking about a romantic interest that has become too intense and unhealthy.

The word 'obsessed' implies that the teenager can think about little else than the object of desire. Here we are talking about an unhealthy and anxious interest, which is a lot more concerning than a mild or even moderate interest in a peer. You need to know whether:

1. Your teen is constantly checking his or her text messages to see if there are any messages from the romantic interest.

2. Your teen seems to have lost interest in his friends and/or activities and has prioritized communication and/or time with the romantic interest. The romantic interest seems to have become the center of your teen's world.

3. Your teen's moods go up and down depending on whether or not the romantic interest is communicating, reciprocating, acting interested, etc.

4. The romantic interest may even start to get annoyed with or lose interest in your child because of the intensity of expressed interest.

You may have just read 1-4 and noticed that your teen meets more than one of the above criteria. If so, you may have reason to be concerned. Don't panic and run to your teen's room to discuss this immediately. Instead, take a breath and read my suggestions.

What to do if your teen is obsessed

1. Have an open and honest discussion with your child about what you have been noticing. Ask if your daughter or son wants help dealing with this issue (either your help or professional help).

2. Limit your teen's access to electronic technology. Perhaps you can have your daughter charge her phone outside of her room. This may make her angry but it may actually help with the obsessional behavior.

3. Try to distract your son by involving him in other activities so that he is not constantly troubled by thoughts of the romantic interest.

4. Help your teen improve his or her self-esteem so that is not totally based on the behavior of one single person.

Good luck. This is not an easy issue.