..Four years into our marriage, her beauty, her sweet nature and tenderly love and care seem nothing to me any longer. Her charms that normally calm my nerves suddenly disappeared. Honestly, I can’t figure out what brought about this hatred inside of me for her.

The sight of her makes me mad. I hated her dinner; I loathe the aroma of her food. I detest her breakfast to begin the day. Her presence disgusts me. Her soothing voice, now chirps in my ears, Her beautiful dove-like eyes that occupy her big socket rivals mine now.

These things made me tarry at work until close to midnight before I make it home in the last three months. Before I get home, it is either she dozed off on the couch with ‘rastas’ registered on her favorite television channel or, she will be waiting alone on the balcony in the coldest of midnight. Interestingly enough, she has never shown traces of nagging whenever I come home at ungodly and odd hours. All she says to me was ‘’Honey welcome home”. And she gets a cold feedback from me or sometimes nothing at all.

But what pissed me off the more was her time with God at odd hours. My anger grows more, practically for nothing.  All I care about is to monitor  little Calvin’s chest go up and down on his bed. Get a cold shower and hit the couch in the hall. By 5 am, I am off to work. But work was going bad too, but do not know who to tell. I created my own world and mess.

She knew something was wrong with me. She scheduled us for countless counselling, all of which I managed to never show up. Going to church became the most difficult tasks aside home. But two weeks into my unruly behavior, Sylvia who already has chiseled stature, is almost running out of her little flesh.

One Sunday but a rather wet morning, she sat on the floor with our two year old son sobbing quietly, holding him tight like he was all she had. Calvin tried to break himself free to realize the source of tiny wet drops on him but she won’t let him, but only intensify her strength on little Calvin like he was a victim within the coils of a reticulated python. Failure to take my gaze off them, I watched with shame and pity, with a hard beating heart inside me.

Now I hear dozens of different sorts of voices talking to me, but I can’t hear anything audibly. Sluggishly, I made it to the washroom with shame. Then, her sobbing got stronger, and I heard her call to her Mummy,…and then she called the name of the Lord and said Yahweh,….

Then a crazy driving force hurled me to the entrance, but I was too guilty to get close to them. Gradually, with trembling feet, I trek to stand directly behind them,… and I squat,…and after countless trials, my hands made it around them finally. I felt her shivers inside her,..as she turned her head to look at me,  I quickly shut my wet eyes….I heard her whisper some words to Calvin, who quickly dashed to the hall.

Moments later, I realize we were all standing. She turned around and made it into my heart beating chest. As her crying intensified, I can feel her heart pounding in her delicate chest on a really shaking body that held me with possibly the rest of her strength. She held me like never before, and that got me weaker the more.

Now, she said something countlessly in a sobbing manner  that made me panteth for  breath.. ‘’J’son I am sorry”.  J’son I am sorry, J’son I am sorry….

I knew so well, it should be the opposite. But she did. I know I was wrong, but she apologized. Still I could not utter a word, but to carry her in my arms like I did on the  alter few years back. Her penciled arms holding me tight on the neck. It is been the best feeling after we both cried. Then I said to her,..’’Im sorry pumpkin’’, please forgive me….but she put one of her dainty index finger on my lips,…shutting me up.

And then, I gave her a long passionate kiss for the first time in four months,….

When our eyes open, Calvin was staring at us quietly on the floor smiling. He got up and ran to us like he is seeing us for the first time in a decade. A real family re union it was.

After that long kiss, I yearn for her like air, and always in my mind’s eye. I realize now that she is a part of me. Things I used not to do to help her in the past, now I do them, like wash dishes, chop meat and spinach etc. I come home early, and early enough to put our son in bed.

Every morning, I carry her to the bathroom as a sign of my love for her.  Although it happened that way, I enjoy my marital life now than before. Till today, she has never asked me why I put up that behavior in the past. Sylvia is a really smallish figure, but about the strongest of woman among women. I don’t deserve her, but all I do know is that, I love her so much. She is my ‘humming bird’.

I entreat every married couple and those yet to tie the knot to always make Christ an integral part of their relationship. Had she not been prayerful, Satan would have ruined our marriage. Satan is never tired. Beware, and put him where he belongs.