If things quickly become intense, it could be a warning sign.
Md saad andalib/Attribution license/Flickr There's a rush that comes with the beginning of any new relationship, Hood said. Over time, that euphoria can morph into intensity the first warning sign that a relationship is unhealthy. "It's not how a relationship starts that matters," Hood said. "It's how it evolves." A few markers of intensity, according to Hood, are when a partner begins incessantly calling, texting, or showing up places. Intense partners can be impatient when you're slow to respond to their messages. They might also say "I love you" sooner than feels natural. If a relationship feels like it's moving too quickly, or starts to become suffocating, it might have veered into unhealthy territory.Unhealthy relationships sow seeds of doubt about your support system.
Shutterstock Isolation is one of the most frequently missed signs of unhealthy love, said Hood. That's because it's often confused with the desire to spend quality time with someone. When a relationship is first starting out, it's common to want to attach yourself to your partner in a way that's still healthy. But the moment you start to feel isolated from your support system, you should rethink the connection. "Healthy love includes independence," Hood said. Abusive partners, she said, will often try to sew seeds of doubt about everyone in your life that isn't them. When talking about your friends, they might say: "Why do you want to hang out with them? They're such losers." Or they might try to convince you that your family is determined to break the two of you up. An unhealthy friend might guilt you into forgoing a plan to spend time with them.Abusive partners might frequently accuse you of cheating, or demand to know where you are at all times.
"Jealousy is a part of any human relationship, but extreme jealousy is different," Hood said. "There's a threatening, desperate, and angry edge to it." Hood said extreme jealousy can often creep in when the honeymoon period that blissful time at the beginning of a new relationship starts to peter out. Extremely jealous partners can demand to know where you are and who you're with at all times. They might also obsessively follow you on social media. These behaviors are often tied up with frequent accusations of cheating or flirting with other people. In friendships, extreme jealousy can manifest in someone becoming possessive over your time or not trusting what you say.They can also use words as weapons.
John Moore/Getty Images People who are belittled by their partners often feel less confident or silenced in a relationship. A partner who belittles, for instance, might make a joke at your expense, or shut you down in front of friends and family. This is often followed up by accusing you of overreacting. They might tell you not to be so sensitive, or to cut them some slack, thereby silencing your concerns. "In unhealthy love, words are used as weapons," Hood said. "Conversations that used to be fun and lighthearted turn mean and embarrassing." Hood said even she was guilty of belittling when she screamed, "You are the worst!" at her children after they complained about breakfast.If your relationship feels like a roller coaster ride of breakups and makeups, it could be a sign of unhealthy love.
Flickr / Hernn Piera You have tearful arguments, followed by passionate makeups. You're constantly breaking up and getting back together. Your partner makes hateful comments, then quickly apologizes and promises to never say those things again. Hood files all these behaviors under a category called "volatility." The more tense your relationship becomes, she said, the more volatile it can be.We can all learn to love better.
Kathrin Ziegler/Getty Images One of the reasons why relationships become unhealthy, Hood said, is that we're never explicitly taught how to love. By understanding the characteristics that make for an unhealthy relationship, we can train ourselves to do better over time, she said.DISCLAIMER: The Views, Comments, Opinions, Contributions and Statements made by Readers and Contributors on this platform do not necessarily represent the views or policy of Multimedia Group Limited.
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