Opinion

God dragged to the Supreme Court

God will never give you a protruding tooth, if He knows He would not give you a large mouth to cover it’. Remember Him always because if it is time for crying, then your laughing is near.

Is it true that there is probably no aphrodisiac that can make men weaker than ‘Allow Cash Outt’?. Hahahahahahahahaa! Today is Fridaaaaayyyyyyy and it’s pay day and yaanom would start again….’Baby I am broke o’. Ei this thing;hmmm! The more you swear not to do it again, the more your swearing serves as a catalyst to do it more! God forgive us, men our sins.

It’s pay day and for those who are yet to get employed, don’t worry. You would soon get a job and you would recover all that you have lost during your period of unemployment in Jesus’ name I pray! Amen!

Did you know that the goat is the best animal to use as an example when doing environmental impact analysis? The goat has to do its research and environmental impact analysis very well before having fun / coitus with ‘his’ wife or wives.

When a goat wants to do the thing with ‘his’ wife, ‘he’ makes a very interesting sound of siren: pub3b3 pub3 and then smells the ‘entry point’ to be sure ‘everything in order’ in terms of hygiene and then ‘he’ will raise its nose in a certain fashion exposing the inner part of its upper lip in approval. If ‘he’ does not do that, you can be sure ‘he’ would start coughing and won’t enter.

You see the goat is not self centred so it does that as a sign to other ‘he’ goats that, ‘the place go biii’! Just observe this: there are times male goats do that and don’t go in at all – a sign of disapproval meaning there must be a certain problem there ‘for consumption’. In such a case, it would not flip its nose.

 

The she goat would hardly resist and will just watch her man do the needful and then she goes back looking for green grass to masticate as it ruminates later.

some of our wives are like that. Please stop that thing o. the only advantage is that the she goat will never ask the he goat for mobile money. If you are a human male and you want to try it on a female human of DOVVSU age, be prepared to pay registration fee even before allowed to send your nose there to check for hygiene and acceptable standards tests!

Recently a certain lady was said to have been in the news for parading sexually ‘enjoymental’ stuff good for ladies to use on men. The rush for such stuff was unbelievable. I thanked God for the immediate intervention by the relevant authorities.

Some of our girls are ready to do anything just to keep us though ‘we are not the only ones’. Ei recently a lady told me something that scared the hell out of me er. She said I should never be happy with a single lady who keeps thanking me for more than 3 days for giving her GHC50 and frown on the one who I would give GHC200 and she would say ‘THANK YOU only once.

According to her, the first one is likely to have a conglomerate of guys she is taking GHC50, GHC50 from and makes a lot of money in her pool. She could be dangerous to spreading the ‘disease’. Meanwhile, the one who takes GHC200 and says THANK YOU once is more likely to have only you in her life. Safe or? I don’t know what this girl means but to some extent, it could be true, no be so? Hahaaaaa! We often think the ‘small money collectors’ who appreciate us are the best. Yooo!  

FAITH and TRUST are different o. Job interviews are to see if you can be trusted. Faith does not give evidence; faith is evidence itself. Faith without problems is useless. Faith is for only those who aspire for something. Don’t expect faith to work if you are not expecting anything; aspire for something. These were messages I listened to when I tuned in to 87.5 fm on August 11 this year between 9am-10am. The preacher was a South African. I think his name is BISHOP LAMINI from CAPE TOWN. That day I didn’t go to church and he kept me glued to radio till he was over with the preaching. I just liked his style.

He cited an example of trust that if you are about to undergo a surgery (touchwood) and the profile of the surgeon is read out to you stating that out of ten people he had operated upon, he was so good that only one person survived it, would you go ahead signing anything to go ahead with such a surgeon operating upon you. That would be wrong faith o, my brother, my sister.

Well the following epistle is the reason some people want to drag God to the Supreme Court o. Hmmm! It was some time in 1998 when school had just reopened. It was on a Saturday but Allen, my roommate decided to leave two days earlier. He left an important textbook behind and some valuables which he needed for the semester. So he called me on a comm centre number requesting me to go and see his elder brother at Dansoman for the stuff. There were very few mobile phone users at the time; neither he nor I had one so communication was strategic- you had to tell the comm centre girl that someone would be calling you at 10 o’clock so you had had to avail yourself by 9.55!

I’d booked STC for Kumasi and the departure was 1pm. Those days when STC says 1pm, they mean 1pm not one minute after 1pm! They were extremely strict and disciplined with time.

I stood by the road at Kisseman junction where we now have My-Life Insurance head office. I was in the queue for either taxi or trotro. I needed to get to Achimota, pick another car to Circle and then another to Dansoman, pick the stuff from Allen’s brother and made sure I got back to STC yard at Awudome before 1pm. The long queue was not moving and I was getting worried.

It was approaching 11.30am and I was still in the queue feeling very uneasy as I was likely not to meet my friend’s brother at DC or I may miss the bus, travelling all the way from Kisseman to DC and back to STC yard remained one of a hell of thought looking at the time. Then it got to my turn as the first person in the queues. Then a taxi cab DATSUN 120Y pulled up. A passenger alighted and I thanked God I had the chance to board now.  I sat down and driver wickedly asked me to get down and called someone who was far behind in the queue to rather join. The guy himself was surprised he was being called since it didn’t appear the driver knew him from anywhere. I was furious and resisted as I was already late. It was now 11.49am. I reluctantly got down for that person to come and join and the driver drove off. How unfair! God, why? I openly bemoaned.

This is where God can be funny. In less than a minute, a BMW car driving towards Achimota suddenly stopped, reversed to the queue and asked me to join. Guess who! It was Allen’s brother whom I was going to see in DC. He had come to GIMPA to do something and was also rushing to make sure he met me at his DC residence because it was getting late. He picked me straight to the STC yard at 12.51pm!

If God had allowed me to pick that taxi cab, one, I would have missed the guy at DC, and probably miss the STC bus. I saw the taxi driver as wicked not knowing that it was God at work. Isn’t God ‘funny’? It is hard to accept when you find yourself in certain situations and think God should be dragged before the supreme court to answer questions. In all things…give thanks!

I learnt from Capt Amoabeng that when things go well with you, ask: ‘God, why me?’ And when they don’t go the way you want, ask Him: “why not me?

Never be tempted to blame God for your ‘predicaments’. They are parts of his designing process. He often puts them there to protect you and to get you to the promised land. Halleluya! Amen!