Love, I have learned, is not a grand wedding day moment. It is not the applause, the photographs, the white gown, or the proud smiles of family and friends.
Love is what remains when the music stops.

Love is what shows up on ordinary evenings, during quiet walks, small disagreements, tired mornings, and long seasons of growth.

Fifteen years after saying “I do,” I found myself asking a question many couples quietly wrestle with: “What truly keeps a marriage alive after the excitement fades?”
When people ask me about the essence of holy matrimony, I often surprise them with an unusual question.

“Have you ever tasted a luscious chocolate on Valentine’s Day?”
They usually smile and say yes.
“And how did it taste?”
“Sweet,” they reply.

That sweetness is more than flavour. It is a desire. It is satisfaction. It is the reason you want another bite.
Marriage, I have come to understand, works the same way.

When two people fall in love, they take a bite of something sweet. That sweetness draws them closer. It makes them believe in forever. It leads them to stand before God, family, and friends and say two powerful words, “I do.”

But after the vows are spoken and the wedding gifts are opened, a deeper question emerges. Have you discovered what makes love remain sweet?

For my wife and me, celebrating fifteen years of marriage has not been about perfection. We have not lived inside a fairy tale. We have lived inside reality work schedules, bills, misunderstandings, personal growth, and changing seasons of life.
Yet through it all, we have found something precious.

Love must be spoken.
Not just felt.
Not just assumed.
Not just remembered.

It must be spoken in a language your partner understands.
Several years ago, I encountered the work of marriage and family life counsellor Dr Gary Chapman, author of the bestselling book The Five Love Languages. His simple but profound idea is this: “People receive and interpret love in different ways.”
He identifies five primary love languages:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

When you consistently speak your partner’s love language, you fill their emotional tank. When you do not, even good intentions can feel empty.
The Bible quietly reveals this truth long before modern psychology.
In Genesis chapter 24, the story of Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage offers a beautiful example. Scripture tells us that Isaac took Rebekah into his mother’s tent, and she became his wife, an expression of physical closeness and acceptance. The passage also says Isaac loved Rebekah, and she comforted him after the loss of his mother. That is quality time, emotional presence, and companionship.

Two people.
Two hearts.
Two love languages.
Spoken.

When I reflect on my own marriage, I smile at how naturally my wife, Princess A. A. Osisiadan-Quaye, discovered my love language without even realising it.
Shortly after we got married, I introduced her to evening walks. Walking has always been my quiet therapy, a time to think, breathe, and unwind.
One evening, as we walked along the roadside, my wife surprised me with a small gift.

At the time, I thought she was simply expressing happiness about our walks together.
What I did not realise was that two things were happening.
She was learning that quality time mattered deeply to me.
I was learning that thoughtful gifts were meaningful to her.

Without any formal conversation, we were teaching each other how to love better.
Ten years later, those small discoveries still shape our marriage.
Love is not sustained by one big gesture.
It is sustained by thousands of small ones.
A kind word when your partner is exhausted.
Time spent together without distractions.
A simple gift that says, “I was thinking about you.”
Helping without being asked.
A gentle touch that reassures.
These moments may seem ordinary, but they are sacred.

Many marriages struggle not because love is gone, but because love is being spoken in the wrong language.
A husband may be working tirelessly to provide, believing he is showing love through acts of service, while his wife longs to hear words of affirmation.
A wife may be giving thoughtful gifts, while her husband desperately wants quality time.
Both are loving.
Both feel unloved.

Discovering your partner’s love language changes everything.
It turns frustration into understanding.
It turns assumptions into intention.
It turns routine into romance.
After “I do,” the real work of marriage begins.
You learn to die to selfishness.
You learn to listen more than speak.
You learn that love is not just a feeling, but it is a decision you make every day.

As we celebrate 15 years of holy matrimony, my message is simple:

Do not stop learning from your spouse.
Do not stop speaking their love language.
Do not stop choosing love.
Marriage is not sustained by luck.
It is sustained by effort, grace, and commitment.
The sweetness of love does not disappear after the first bite.
It deepens when you know how to taste it properly.

Princess A.A.Osisiadan Quaye (Mrs)