You know how they say be careful whom you call a friend? Well, I sometimes wonder how to tell who to actually be careful of.

 I mean, some of us should get nobel awards for excelling in keeping our true feelings for months, years and sometimes even decades!

Take for instance this female friend I had some few years back. There was this particular guy who had a crush on me (ok fine, I had a crush on him too lol). So anyway, this friend and I were really close. I mean, she cooked the best banku and okro stew for us both to eat, we used to spend so much time together and everyone in our neighbourhood knew we were besties.

One day though, this guy crush warned me to be careful about her alleging that she hated me and I thought that was ridiculous. He kept warning and warning me but I just couldn't be bothered until he got frustrated enough to show me one evidence. Hmmmm, in his hand was a letter written by my bestie to my guy crush and trust me, it was an eye-opening letter.

My bestie dressed me from hair to toe in insults with all sorts of forbidden words, advising him to forget about me and go out with her instead! Boy, I was shocked and amused at the same time! And this was someone I called my buddy buddy! I never let her know that I knew. Somehow by the grace of God, my family moved to Accra and till today I have not set eyes on her again. In this case, it was pretty simple to tell whom to be careful of assuming my guy crush was being honest.

What about this other story? Years back I had a boss whom I sometimes thought was impossible! This boss stretched me to the moon and back giving me tasks that would make literally every colleague of mine hate me. There were times I thought she just enjoyed making my life miserable, you know, like she woke up every morning thinking ‘hey, let’s go make Ama miserable today too!’. A number of people warned me about her, saying I should be careful of her because she was out to destroy me, she was using me because she would never do some of the things she asked me to do, blah blah blah. Little did I know that she thought I had a lot of potential and wanted to push me off my lazy bumbum! In fact, in hindsight I know that this lady was God's gift to me because she toughened me.

Fast forward to today, I still get people telling me every now and then 'Ama, you need to be careful of this or that person'. Well, that's great but how do I know whether the person telling me is actually whom I need to be careful of? How do I know the truth?

In a world in which we are able to smile nicely to someone while cursing him/her in our minds, how does one know who to trust and who not to? Count yourself lucky, if your 'enemy' does not mince words in letting you know that he/she detests you. But if your 'enemy' is actually your 'friend' and in some wild cases your 'bestie', 'sibling', ' husband or wife', then God be with you. Heck, have you seen the movie 'Awake'?!

What am I rumbling on about? You may walk on this earth for a 100 years and never know the right person to trust and whom to be careful of. So, fabulous woman please hand over those who hate you to God ok? Be kind to everyone, whether you know for sure that they are your enemy or friend, not because you crave to be in their good books. Do it for God and watch Him take care of you and your business.

If you are sure of who your enemy is, then good for you. Commit him/her to God and be careful. But trust me, there are others you may never know so instead of being afraid and fretting over who to be careful of, do as Psalm 91:1 says, then be your fabulous self!

Written By: Ama Duncan, Founder of The Fabulous Woman Network

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