A very sacred topic right? A very scary topic for me too. But what the heck.

People talk about sex so so unrestrainedly. Why should I restrain myself from talking about not having one. It’s not a taboo. The real taboo used to be talking so plainly about sex. It’s not a taboo anymore.

And so, to hell with being uncomfortable with talking about not having sex.

I’m a Virgin.

Yes. And please don’t ask me why. It’s a choice I made. And I must say that it has come at a very expensive price though. I’m 27 and everybody thinks I’m strange. I’ve had a number of opportunities I’ve missed because I’ve chosen to be this way. Some, I laugh over them and for others I cry because they’re so insulting. For instance, I’ve heard men tell me that I will be boring in bed and so gradually as they realized I didn’t want to give in, they faded away. Painfully, others claimed I was just being Holier than Thou. Can you imagine someone actually accused me of running to a hotel with a boyfriend because I didn’t want anyone to see what I do in the dark?

All these have been some experiences I’ve had to carry around my heart because people simply do not believe that someone of my age and personality would be a Virgin.

But I take pride in it. It is like a fresh egg, once broken, not even artificial hymen can replace its’ sanctity. I know I’m talking like someone who grew up in probably the 70s. But never mind. I know I’m old fashioned when it comes to these things. Not practicing doesn’t mean I’m naïve. I’ve read. Did I hear you laugh so loud your next neighbor thinks you need a Psychiatrist? Relax. I’m not done yet.

With some of these fears, my sister Adjoa decided to tow a different line from mine. Just like me, she had also been meeting lots of fantastic guys. But she felt she was never going to grab any guy and keep him tight until she opened her legs. Oops, sorry. I just wanted to be blunt. She gave in. Once, twice and more until it almost felt like it was the norm for her. At a point, she felt uncomfortable; remembering the kind of training she’s had so she decided to play hide and seek with her new catch when it came to sex and then he also realizing she was going to her in his words, ‘bad ways’, also decided to part ways.

I know there’re lots of controversial questions to ask here as to whether the guy really left because all he wanted was to have his way in between my sister’s legs or there were some other factors. I wish he were here to answer these questions.

But what am I trying to say? I think it’s ridiculous to think that Boy A or B will stay with you because you gave in sexually. And ohh, sorry. In case you’re angrily asking by whose standards I’m spitting these unguarded words, I’m talking about those who claim to be in the Ship of Christianity or Islam or whichever religious boat that believes in this. Hmmmm. Don’t close the page yet. I just felt I should share these with you.

I kinda think that a lot of my sisters have had these erroneous beliefs that ‘tie the man down with what your mama gave you’. So if you don’t, then people begin to think that you don’t know the power you’ve got.

 I know this principle has worked for many. Why? Because someone’s poison is another’s meat. I have a good friend. She and her boyfriend lived like a husband and a wife. In fact she got pregnant for the guy. She was fortunate enough the guy accepted responsibility. He did a wedding for her before her pregnancy could be seen. So I know it’s worked for some people.  But I also believe that those who claim to be in the religious boat should not think that they’ll apply whatever principles some people in the ‘world’ use and it will work perfectly for them. Okay. Before you get bored; let me continue with my sister’s story.

Do you know that before she quit with this sexual spree, there were times she would go and sleep over at the guy’s place and they lived like a married couple during those times. And the question is, if a man is getting everything that he would in marriage, why should he bother to marry you anyway? And that’s for those who want to marry.

And please oo, these are not my sayings; before you stone me in your anger. My sister learnt from her bad experience and told me her new philosophy. She started preaching all over again and again I even got bored with her.

Ahh, I’m sure you’ve been waiting for this. I guess you’re wondering whether I’m gonna change and follow the trend as it is. I can almost tell you’re saying I’m either frigid or my body is firewood. Not precisely. Okay, I won’t say more. I’ve got some pretty smiles on as I write this and I guess you’re either broadly smiling with me or you’re looking for a rock to throw at me. Nonetheless, I leave  the choice with you. I’m still thinking. I guess ‘I’m losing little now to gain much later’.

I’m probably separating the chaff from the real wheat. But please let it end here. Don’t call me to ask questions.

Anywayz, we’ll continue the conversation later. Remember to say hi to your sister for me when you meet her. And also don’t forget to email me; claireadu@yahoo.com and follow me on my facebook page ‘Beatrice Adu’.