In a short video posted online, a 5-year-old boy is seen helping his kid sister to jump over a gutter with a width less than half the length of her arm. The five-year-old stood at one end of the drain while his sister stood at the other end, looking childishly frustrated. Little sister is close but she’s too feeble to jump over the drain. Big brother thought of a plan. He lay flat across the drain as though he were a plank of wood. Little sister crawled on the back of her brother to get to the other end of the drain, just two steps away. This is a classic show of wisdom as well as an expression of true love.

This display of wit by this child got an entire theatre audience on their feet as they applauded a good deed. The question which readily came to mind was that if a little boy could show such a gesture how much more adults who would have learnt all the rudiments of love and life spanning many years?

The short video was, to me, a throwback to my past of innocence, adventure and curiosity. My first adventure in life was at the university when I attempted to tell a lady that I loved her. Alusru (read name backwards) was fair and plump, beautiful with great eyes and an impressive set of dimples. Yes, she was “loud” but calm when she talked. I knew Alusru liked me, very much and I liked her too. But telling her I loved her was just a difficult thing to do for a 24-year-old Level 100 student.

At the school canteen, she sat on the chair opposite, looking into my eyes while she swallowed the last morsel of her yam meal. I had not thought about proposing love to her. But what I knew for sure was that I had grown to like her company.

“Alusru, I love you,” I muttered.

“What did you say?”

“I said I love you,” I insisted.

She looked me straight in the eyes and I asked me: “Are you sure?” She smiled. But I was too scared to get an answer from her.

I developed goose bumps. My heartbeat had increased and I started sweating under the fan hanging above. The air it blew towards us was akin to a mini-hurricane but that was enough to dry the rivulets of sweat running down my cheeks. This is a real adventure. Later I discovered I did really connect well with Alusru. We did not start it at all.

Within weeks of a botched Alusru agenda I thought of Tricia, the pretty lady with the nice contours. She was looked glorious. Her dentition was a perfect set of pure white teeth graced with a diastema (egyere in Twi). She was a perfect work of art.

Tricia and I became friends, she visited me at home a few times for us to do her next assignment together. For a guy who had a thing for a young pretty daughter of Eve, I felt like I was enjoying a hobby whenever she came home for the school work on Basic Statistics or Principles of Communication. Tricia’s friends Aled, another pretty lady who often wore locks, Aufa, who was coyly suspicious of me, walked with her to almost every nook and cranny on campus. They were close. But what became of the Tricia agenda. I’ll return to it later in this article.

I was born into a family with strong Christian values. However, university education nearly made me lose the lustre of these values in my life. Life at the Commonwealth Hall of the University of Ghana where I “perched” was a cocktail of profanity and free thinking. I hardly went to church although I did not engage in the ills around me. My next love adventure was when I lady whose number I accidentally dialed demanded to meet me. She was the granddaughter of a lecturer on campus.

One day after a long lecture, I was subjected to Jenny’s worse string of calls. She demanded to see me that night. I had no choice but to meet her. I took her to Central Cafeteria opposite Sarbah Hall. Here took the air conditioners worked perfectly, chilling every corner of the bar. But Yours Truly could not contain the pressure. The result was another round of sweating while I sipped the Malt grudgingly albeit suppressed. After a short date I decided to walk Jenny to her grand mum’s bungalow which is down the hill from the Commonwealth Hall. A few metres from the house, in the dark, she demanded to hug me, innocent me! I did not realize when she touched me and when she left me but the only memories I have of that incident was that I was thrown into a sea of confusion. I felt a current of uncertainty run up and down my spine. What a shock! Well, later Jenny became one of my friends.

After school the pursuance of love and relationship was never on my mind. I told myself how I wanted to marry before I broke my virginity. I was a moral man and did not want to hide any fire in my bosom because it would burn me.

Four years after university I joined a friend’s church. I loved how the Bible was taught there. It was during this time that I found KKE, then an undergraduate. KKE became a friend, a very close friend. We texted each other and called each other very often. We were each other’s backbone, sharing our frustrations and successes together. Looking at what she stood for I proposed love cum marriage to her – pressed down, shaken together. After a month she agreed to my proposal and we set the sail to a blissful alter. This was the only time I had entered a real relationship. I was a novice and knew very little about how to “play my cards.” But with time, KKE taught me many things about friendship and relationships.

I had learnt at church how to be loyal to my partner. That meant that I stood by her and loved her no matter what happened. That was what I did. However, after many months KKE approached me with a bombshell! I need space. I’m confused about you. I took it lightly and asked if she wanted a break-up but she said no. My work did not enable me give her the attention she needed. She later pushed her demand a notch higher: “you can move on without me!” It was a shock. I tried to convince her and reassure her of my love but she did not budge. Pushing too much would have also meant I was desperate. But really, I’m not.

Today, Alusru is married with two children. She married the Cadet Captain on campus a few months after school. Tricia has been a friend since school days. She calls to check up on me and I also do. There’s no love connection, it’s pure friendship.

For KKE, I’m just happy for her. Sometimes it’s difficult to let go but you discover how happy you are when you’re no more together. She’s refusing to open up to me lately although I have no pain in me about her decision.

Sometimes love can be elusive, but when you find that “right” person, you experience it to the max. Love must be shared, love must be mutual, love must be true. In all the instances that I told a woman that I loved them, I really meant it except in the case of Alustru because I was not very sure about her. It’s the reason I did not pursue her.

Folks, go for what you want. Be sure about it and love truly. Continue being curious, adventurous but real. The one who belongs to you will stick no matter the circumstances.