Séxual satisfaction is relative. What one woman likes might not be what another woman wants. Although there are a few basic things you should know about a woman’s desire and how to keep her happy.

1. Listen to her: And not just her words, but her body too. Communication is key when it comes to having a pleasurable séxual experience.

Don’t be shy to actually talk about what you like and ask her what she enjoys. Also, a woman has a way of letting her man know what she likes by the way she moves, the sounds she make and her overall demeanor. Don’t be so focused in your own pleasure that you don’t take the time to focus on her.

2. She needs to be distracted – and in a good way: During séx, men focus on the oncoming climax Women’s minds wander, often into fantasy. To reach orgásm, she needs to clear her head and turn off her brain’s fear center. “Fantasy is a way for her to disconnect her mind, and it becomes an important part of deactivating her fear center. Encourage her release by constructing an érotic fantasy before things heat up. Then, Quilliam says, you can whisper provocative sentences to each other in turn, building a story she can get lost in.

3. Let her take control: Men naturally want to take charge, but often times, you might not know what she likes until you give her the chance to take control. Let her control the pace and intensity, so that you can get a feel of what is best for her. Encourage her to be on top: It allows her to take advantage of a full range of positions-facing you, facing away, even sitting cross-legged on you.

4. Spot the érotic spots: Her clítoris, vaginá, and uréthra are interconnected, and researchers believe that stimulating any one of them may contribute to overall arousál.

Experts suggest branching out and teasing what some call the U-spot-an area between her cli**ris and vaginá, located near the entrance to her urethrá. Use soft, circular motions with your finger.

Uráthral nerves are very sensitive, so stimulation here creates a particular kind of árousal-a soft, melting form of climáx. Make sure your hands are clean, though-the area is infection-prone.

5. Slow down: Pulling back when she’s near clímax and then resuming can enhance her orgásm. Suspense raises the psychological arousal level. Ask her to tell you when she’s near the top, and then pull back for a few minutes to kíss and concentrate on other parts of her body.

Repeat several times-build up, back off-until you take her over the edge. Don’t fear ruining a moment. It takes 5 to 10 minutes for arousál to really subside, so even if she thinks she’s “lost it,” you’re probably equipped to bring her back.

Good luck.