"It was a huge emotional turmoil, and my baby's cries used to trigger me," survivor of postpartum depression, Margaret-Nuella Tsekpetse, shared her story with host of #StrongAndSassy, Animwaa Anim Addo on Joy FM on Wednesday, September 20, 2023.

Narrating her experience, Margaret-Nuella, a mother of two, revealed that her ordeal started during her first pregnancy.

"For the first two days after delivery, I couldn't hold my own baby. While in the hospital, my baby had to be admitted because I had a problem with breastfeeding, my baby cried, and I couldn't provide nutrition."

"I wanted to just formula feed and be free, but there was pressure on me to exclusively breastfeed or combine, but nothing was coming. The milk was not flowing."

"The complication of C-section because I had an emergency, the weight gain, etc. all culminated into me going through two years of horror, trying to reconcile having a child and the joy that should come with it and not having to feel the way I was feeling." she sadly narrated.

Margaret-Nuella, who is also the Programs Director of Empowering Female Minds in STEM, explained why she felt suicidal at a point.

"Because I couldn't talk to anyone, and I was feeling that way, I will find myself sitting in the bathroom, with the shower on, a blade in my hand, waiting to just cut myself. I attempted suicide 4 times actually. It is an experience I don't want any woman to go through," she stated emphatically.

According to her, she tried to munch on some snack recommendations given by her grandmothers so she could produce more breastmilk, but she couldn't, starving her baby.

"I rather gained weight, and I felt so unloved, so unheard, unseen. In fact, I was big, fat, and ugly, these were words that stuck with me during my ordeal, "she blurted out regrettably.

Highlighting what could have contributed to her depression after delivery, Margaret mentioned stress as a huge factor because she lacked help then.

"How are we helping mums when they give birth?" she quizzed.

"Growing up with the notion that no one owes me any help, I felt I had to do everything by myself so asking for help was difficult, and when I did, nobody understood me because they thought I could handle everything by myself. So, I didn't know who to talk to about my struggles."

"With time, I lost confidence, I couldn't look at myself anymore, and it became so bad with the tears, cries, and screams from the baby because of hunger," she recalled.

In her opinion, Margaret-Nuella thinks new mothers should be given all the support they need after birth.
"New mothers need all the help they can get. Not the lecturing and recommendations because at the end of the day, not everything works for everybody," she advised.

Speaking about how she finally recovered from the condition, Margaret-Nuella narrated how she got a full-length mirror with the help of her sister in order to be able to see herself, accept herself for what she looked like, and encourage herself.

"I had to get help. My husband also assisted with baby care and helped me take care of myself, bathe together, etc. In fact, getting my baby into school early to have her looked after by another person really was a joy and relief, and it really helped me to find my balance," Margaret said.