When a man readies himself to find his better half, more often than not he tends to compare his partner’s qualities to that of his mother.

This behaviour, according to a relationship coach, Mama Cathy, is wrong even if it is meant to be a compliment.

Speaking on the topic, “Do men marry women who remind them of their mothers?” on Joy FM’s Super Morning Show on Friday, Mama Cathy said it sets unrealistic benchmarks for the woman which could put a strain on the fairly new relationship.

Instead, she advised that men should allow their partners to discover for themselves the character of their to-be mothers-in-law and decide on which ones to adopt and which ones to discard.

“There is nothing wrong if a man looks for qualities he grew up with but throwing it in the face of the woman at the beginning stages of the relationship is what is frowned upon because the woman doesn’t know your mother.

“Also, the woman doesn’t know whether the compliments and the qualities that you are thinking in your head and expressing verbally are actually positive or negative. It would be wiser to wait and allow the woman to see things for herself,” she said.  

Callers who called into the show had mixed reactions. While some were in support of the topic, others believed it was inappropriate for a man to marry a woman who reminds him of his mother.

“Siblings at home are different so if you want someone who reminds you of your mother, it will be difficult. You’ll never be pleased with anything she does for you. No one can be like your mother. Personally, I don’t want anyone like my mother, she’s fantastic and unique and I love her,” one Nana Kwesi said.

On the part of Annie, he said, “Women need to understand that men learn most of their things from their mothers. In the same way, women learn certain qualities from their fathers. So if a man tells you [his partner] ‘If I see you it tells me of how good my mother is’ it is a very good thing. Women shouldn’t be offended by it.”