Relationship counsellor, Counselor Perfect, has advised women to take their time to understand the men they intend to marry, warning that rushing into marriage without proper knowledge of a partner’s character can lead to devastating consequences.

She made these remarks on Joy Prime’s relationship talk show Let’s Talk with Asieduwaa, after a disturbing story was shared about a woman whose husband was caught having sexual relations with his own biological daughter, a scene witnessed by the woman’s young son. The man has since abandoned his home and now lives with the daughter, leaving the wife traumatised and seeking help to recover.

Reacting to the case, Counselor Perfect stressed the need for women to thoroughly vet their partners before making a lifelong commitment. “You need to know your partner for yourself before getting married,” she said. She explained that studying a man’s behaviour early makes it easier to detect problems, giving a woman the chance to either prepare mentally for challenges ahead or walk away.

“Getting to know someone helps you detect issues faster so you either deal with it or detach from it early,” she noted.

She cautioned that red flags during courtship should never be ignored, since marriage does not erase flaws but often amplifies them. “If you were fighting two girls, you would fight three or more girls when you get married,” she said, referring to unfaithful or flirtatious men.

On the subject of infidelity, Counselor Perfect said some men are habitual cheaters regardless of how well their wives treat them. “Let’s take the bull by the horn – you can decide to change your clothes and wear nicer lingerie, but if it is his mentality as a man, he will still cheat,” she pointed out. According to her, cheating is not always the woman’s fault but often stems from a man’s lack of discipline and toxic mindset.

She further stressed the need for discipline and self-control. “It is animals that are not disciplined. So if you are a human being and you are behaving like an animal, then you are moving away from human nature,” she remarked.

Touching on morality and spirituality, Counselor Perfect cited the Bible. “It is written in the book of Leviticus that incest should not be committed because it is a sin,” she said. She also called for stricter punishment for abusers, insisting that shielding them within families or communities only encourages repeated offences. “If society or the family decides not to punish abusers, they are encouraging them to continue,” she warned.

Offering practical advice to women in relationships, she urged them to create hypothetical scenarios or engage partners in discussions that reveal their values and emotional maturity. She added that if a man constantly talks about his ex, it could be a sign he has not moved on. “When a man is always talking about his ex, dig deeper. There could be something there,” she advised.

In her closing remarks, Counselor Perfect underlined the importance of financial independence for women. “You should have your own money as a woman without the mentality that a man should take care of you,” she stated.

She also addressed single mothers who are seeking to remarry, advising that any man who enters their lives must be prepared to offer genuine support. “If you are a single mother and you decide to get married, the man should come and support you, not see you as a burden,” she said.

Let’s Talk with Asieduwaa airs every Tuesday at 9pm on Joy Prime. The show provides a safe space for people facing emotional and relationship challenges to share their stories and receive guidance from experts and counsellors.