When you know, you just know... or do you?
Even though it seems like it should be natural and easy, sometimes trying to pinpoint how you know when you're in true love can be incredibly confusing. What does love really feel like anyway?
There is something beautiful about the infatuation we all feel during the honeymoon period of a romantic relationship. I'm not talking about the literal honeymoon, of course.
I'm talking about that blissful stage when you and the person you met on Tinder have been on more than five dates and now every time you see each other you immediately start smooching can't keep your hands out of each other's jeans pockets.
When you obsessively give each other pet names and can't stop holding hands. When you gross out everyone around you, and you don't care one bit because you just can't get enough of each other.
That's the honeymoon period, and damned if it's not a exquisite thing to experience.
You and your love muffin are still getting to know each other, you're connecting more and more every single day, but you don't have to deal with any of that long-term relationship shit like splitting your fiances are talking about buying a house or some nonsense. Everything is fresh and new and sexy and sometimes you don't even need lube! Damn, right?
Eventually, however, even the best of these stages fade away and you either realize it wasn't really all that and break up or you want to do everything possible to make this is connection last.
You may have your own thoughts about how you know which way your heart will go. For me, it's based on a gut feeling more than anything else, an urge to declare my emotions that is so intense I have to or my heart will fall out of my butt. For me, I know I'm in love when my whole heart is full of that feeling.
I've often wondered if it's the same for everyone else. I'm sure there are plenty of folks for whom "knowing" they're IN love means some incredibly specific yet impossible to describe feeling, but I doubted whether this was the only parameter people use... especially men!
As we all know, men and women often approach relationships differently. Sure, we all want basically the same thing — a best friend we also desire sexually — but that doesn't mean we know when we've found then in exactly the same way.
To that end I decided to dig into a thread over on Reddit forum AskMen to see how the guys over there know when it's true love.
"Men of reddit, how do you know when you love a woman?"
The secrets these men shared among each other are sweet and helpful, particularly if you KNOW that you're in love with the man you've been seeing and you're trying to figure out if he's feeling the same way.
Check out these 11 ways men on Reddit AskMen say they know they're in 100 percent pure, true love.
1. When he wants to spend his time with you.
"Because not only do I love her, I like being around her, and I want her in my life because she adds something positive to my life. She's not just a drain on my wallet or full of drama. Relationships can be difficult if you are inexperienced, but they shouldn't be that hard if you find the right person. If you find someone really compatible they should be much easier, not 'this is such a headache'. But finding a really compatible person can take many years, and so sometimes people settle. And some people think it's not even possible to find a real compatible person."
2. When he thinks you look beautiful no matter what.
"Someone told me if you can imagine walking in on her while she's struggling to take a massive poop and you still find her attractive, that's love. I laughed and thought it was funny but there's some truth into that."
3. When you matter as much to him as he matters to himself.
"Her happiness is a crucial ingredient to my happiness."
4. When he can't stop smiling around you.
"People around you will wonder why you keep smiling, but you don't notice them at all. A warm, fuzzy feeling starts from your ears and moves up towards your front. As you breath in deep, you gaze into her eyes."
5. When he keeps coming back to you.
"I actually dumped her and then did the whole hedonistic one-night stand thing. Eventually realized that every girl I met, I immediately compared to her, so it never worked out with any of them, since they never could compare. Fast forward a few years, we met up again, became friends, lovers, made her my wife. End of story."
6. When he talks about how easy it is to be together.
"A good relationship shouldn't be a headache or extreme amount of work."
7. When he doesn't look at other women.
"When I'm driving to see her I get really excited. And I have this deep deep contentment like she's my woman. I don't have to look around or anything. We belong to each other now in a very pure and beautiful way."
8. When he talks about the future with you.
"I can imagine having children with her and it makes me happy to imagine it. I don't even want kids, but that's still how I know."
9. When he stays past the honeymoon phase.
"When her quirks you used to find cute and endearing become utter bullshit to you. And you look past it because you want to be with her regardless of anything else. Basically, once the honeymoon phase is over, and you're still interested in each other."
10. When he wants to do more than just have sex.
"When rather than thinking about how awesome it would be to rail her on that desk, I think about what a wonderful person she is and how I want to just live life with them by my side."
11. When he asks you about what you dreamed last night.
"The moment when I realized that I gave a shit about what she dreamt about last night."
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