Welcome to marriage, where your days are spent doing never-ending loads of laundry, making (and breaking) a budget, arguing about how to clean the cast iron skillet and finding new places to hide your favorite snacks from your spouse.
Case in point: We’ve gathered 25 relatable tweets that try to explain what married life is actually like.
Me: "I feel like I'm getting sick"
My husband, already wallowing in a tub full of lemon ginger water, carefully drafting his obituary: "I think I might be coming down with a little something too"
(Walking into Leonardo da Vinci exhibit)
Wife: Why do you look so disappointed?
Me: *buttons jacket over a Ninja Turtle Shirt* No reason.
20% of marriage is just waiting for your spouse to fall asleep so you can eat the snacks you don’t want to share.
I'm not wearing any underwear because you didn't put the fucking laundry in the dryer like I asked you 100 times
My husband had surgery & can’t sit in the front seat for 6 weeks so now I have to be his chauffeur.
WHO’S THE BACKSEAT DRIVER NOW, HUH?
Me: I’m in charge of the shopping cart when my wife and I go to the grocery store
Cashier: ...why are you telling me this?
Let’s get married & have kids so instead of trying a pumpkin beer you can stop the crying while I go back into the corn maze to find the shoe.
wife: how about you be the little spoon tonight?
me: we’ve gone over this *points to my crown* i’m a spork
Can’t, I’m in big trouble with the wife. I was watching sports on TV and I clapped too aggressively.
Please congratulate me. I just finished a conversation I started with my husband 28,000 interruptions ago.
Back in 1998 my husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts. So yeah, you could say I know a thing or two about forgiveness.
My husband and I do this adorable married version of spooning where he flops over and his giant ham arm lands on my face with a thud.
My wife was voted “Least Likely to be Entertained by Steve” in her senior class high school yearbook.
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