The gift of being alone

The gift of being alone
Source: Yakubu Ali |
Date: 26-11-2018 Time: 11:11:52:pm

This is a short narration of a guy who has had his fair share of adversities in life.

I want to share a part of the story of my journey of discovering who I had always wanted to be. Arguably it could be said that as human beings, all that we inherently want is to live in an environment that will present us with the opportunities to have a purposeful, meaningful and fulfilled life.

To one day look back on your life and have a sense of pride and accomplishment for the legacy that you will be leaving behind when you finally say "Adios"-Goodbye- to the world.

Knowing that you were able to touch a soul, to transform someone's life, to give hope to the despondent and a voice to the voiceless either through your words or actions, directly or indirectly. To a lot of people, this would be the utmost achievement and the true meaning of happiness in their long-lived lives. Not all the riches and wealth, not the titles, not the positions and social status but rather the smiles on the faces of the people they had a positive influence.

But in a world full of technological noise and chaos, we get carried away by trivial and impertinent things whose value to both our lives and the success of our society is really de minimis. We live in a toxic environment or society with such a binary culture and view of everything that we are made to choose between what some selected few thinks is right or wrong, good or bad, who to befriend and defriend, who to love and to hate, who's idea to accept and who's to debunk et cetera. We have no freedom to choose who we want to be, though, we are made to believe that we are free.

In this toxic environment, it takes only a few among us to have a pause and rethink about the direction of their lives and where they are going. To reschedule and reset their lives base on their own terms according to the environment around them. To resist to live their lives on a default by searching for who they really are and to find their true selves from "within" themselves not "without".

To be able to lay down their path base on their own terms and on how they think about themselves not what others think of them or what the society says they are. This is most of the time hard to come by and so, to be able to achieve such a fit, they will have to pay a heavy price. They will be disowned and repudiated by society and to some extent be subjected to pillory and disparaging remarks. For anyone to be able to stand their ground and overcome such a pressure in itself is a sign of maturation and a high level of success. Others will give in to the pressure and continue with the conformity and this could risk them losing themselves forever.

I actually got tired in the world full of others, full of conflicting opinions and an environment where I don't really matter. What I think and how I feel doesn't matter because what we do and feel doesn't actually mean anything to anyone. Feelings and actions are being controlled and managed by invisible people who know nothing about us. Relationships are based on benefits and opportunities, everybody is on a watch afraid of being hurt. People can easily take advantage of the others without any remorse or regret because we are being taught that we are in a competitive world and so everything is about us and our interests, the others do not matter. I got lost in all these kerfuffles and so I decided to go on a quest to discover who I am from within myself and live the life I had always wanted, away from the societal linearity that has been created for us.

In my pursuit of the real me and my true essence, I discover a gift that is so precious in itself but most people are oblivion about it. And it is so within my reach but I have been oblivious of it almost all my life. When I finally found this gift at first, I was so afraid to go near it because I was taught at first that it was a sign of weakness, dull and unproductive life.

And with this thought, a lot of people tend to run away from this gift and they try to attach themselves to other people just to make sure they are far away from this gift because this gift is still thought of as a negative thing. But after embracing this gift, I realized that its the first step towards self-realization, conscious decisions, and awareness. And that Its the first door towards knowing myself, who I am and my true values. I began to become conscious of the significant little things around me that at first, I might have taken for granted. I began to see little changes but significant ones in my life even though I am still in the process of realizing my full potentials through exploring this gift but I am becoming content with what I have and the changes I am seeing now.

Now let digest the gift in detail because I believe it will resonate with you as well. And it might be something you ever wanted the most in your life that will help you break from the chain that has kept you down for some time now, dragging you to peril. I believe after realizing and exploring this gift, it will be a moment of epiphany for you as it has been for me. I might I have waited to reach my highest and fullest potential before sharing this with you but the power of this gift has kept me awake at nights with the urge to share with you so that we can all benefit from it and grow together.

This gift that I have been talking about is the gift of "Solitude"- Aloneness; the state of being alone or solitary, being by yourself. This is not just about being alone but rather having an intimate relationship with yourself. The ability to listen to the voice from within and reflect on it, some might call it a moment of "Meditation". The voice inside is always calling us to our essence but due to the kind of environment we found ourselves in and how we kept ourselves busy with insignificant things, we fail and miss to hear that voice.

Most of the times if not the always, that inner voice-which is the true us- is always calling us to our essence and to the real us but we also, equally most of the times if not always shut it down and suppress it. Most of us are afraid of being alone and this fear of being alone pushes us into toxic relationships.

We voluntarily give others the freedom and right to abuse us just because we are afraid to be alone. Not realizing that in being alone, we get to have a real connection with our inner self and that will give us the sense of who we truly are and what our purpose is in this life. when we realize our purpose then will the door to success open up to us. That's what happened to me. Having that connection with my inner self-opened me up to a lot of things.

I can see that I am gradually becoming calm, attentive and conscious of my environment and the people around me. I can see that I am gradually losing the urge to react to everything that people say to me or to the way they act towards me. I am ready to listen to other peoples opinion without feeling attacked or offended even if I don't agree with them entirely. I get enough time to think and also engage in some other activities that are useful.

All these are happening I believe because having a solitary or alone time for yourself doesn't just connect you to your inner self but also allows your mind or brain to be at its best. You feel everything around you and that leads to the sense of sympathy and empathy towards everything around you as well. I implore you to also have a solitary or alone time for yourself and you will notice yourself coming back home which is to your essence.

Because its hard to know who you are or your real self when you are always with people or engaged in a crowded noisy gathering. I want you to know this, all the prophets and great people that you've ever heard of did not achieve their excellence when they were in the supermarkets, malls, parting or when shopping.

They all achieved their excellence by excluding themselves from the noisy environment and from crowded areas. Know that, no matter who you are and what you do, whether in a relationship or not you can find a solitary and alone time for yourself. Find a solitary time for yourself and see miracles happen in your life.