In the quest to be uber parents, mums and dads can often make mistakes. In fact that may be first parental no-no – trying to be perfect. Here are some other common, if well-meaning, blunders:
1. Trying to solve every problem
It can be hard to step back and encourage your child to come up with solutions when you may think the answer is staring both of you in the face. However, early childhood research has shown that helping children learn to solve their own problems is a valuable life skill that everyone must learn. So just give them some guidance and see how proud they are when they solve the problem themselves.
2. Installing the car seat incorrectly
We’re transporting some fairly precious cargo in our cars yet it seems many of us are not doing it as safely as we could. A recent Monash University study of almost 2000 car journeys involving children in restraint seats found that the kids had been incorrectly restrained up to 88 per cent of the time. To avoid any mistakes, visit an Authorised Restraint Fitting Station and check your restraint is being used correctly.
3. Toilet training too early
Just because you’re ready to ditch the nappies, doesn’t mean your tot is. For some reason many parents become fixated on toilet training even before second birthday hits. But research has found that there is little benefit of starting before at least 27 months. Some kids will not be ready until they’re three. And if they’re not showing signs of readiness – such as recognising that they want to go – all toilet training attempts will be unsuccessful.
4. Neglecting your partner
While the relationship that helped make the baby in the first place may need to take a back seat in early days of parenthood, it’s important not to neglect it too much. Recent US research found that at the end of the first year of being parents, about two-thirds of couples were substantially less happy in their relationship. Try to build in some regular couple time even if it’s not a formal “date” – maybe share a meal, watch a favourite TV show or just chat about happy, non-baby topics.
5. Being scared of spoiling the baby
Ignore the nosy aunty or interfering relative – the fact is, according to expert after expert, you cannot spoil a newborn. In fact many say you can’t spoil a baby under six months of age. The only way a baby can really communicate with the world is through crying, and they’re usually crying for a reason – they’re tired, hungry, uncomfortable or in pain. Responding to your baby’s needs, and providing comfort, will not spoil him but make him feel secure and calm.
6. Focusing too much on academic achievement
It’s hard not to put too much importance on the marks your children get for tests and exams. But the experts stress that academic performance is just part of the total development package. While grades are certainly a good indicator of how a child is managing at school, how a child engages socially, their overall physical health as well as their happiness are all-important factors as well.
7. Being honest about the vegetable content of meals
Groundbreaking research has given parents the permission to hide the veg. A recent US study has found that youngsters get more of their daily nutritional requirements when puréed veggies were “slyly” added to the kids’ main dishes at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And guess what: the kids in the study didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss and appeared to like the healthy meals the same as those without the added vegies.
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