Once upon a time, marriage was viewed as a sacred covenant bound by serious vows.

When two people stood before family, friends, and God to declare for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health, those words carried weight. They symbolized loyalty, endurance, and unconditional love. But today, those vows have become little more than poetic lines — recited beautifully at weddings and forgotten the moment life takes a difficult turn.

Let’s be honest with ourselves. The essence of marriage has changed — and not for the better. Too many modern unions are fragile, built on convenience rather than commitment. The moment a man’s fortunes change, respect fades. When he loses his job, the tone at home changes. When sickness strikes, love becomes distant. And when hardship lingers, many men find themselves abandoned — by the very women who once promised to stand beside them.

Across society, you hear the same story told in different ways: men who were adored in prosperity are ignored in adversity; men who once carried their homes with pride now sleep alone because life humbled them. What happened to the vows we all hold so dear? What happened to “for worse,” “for poorer,” and “in sickness”?

It is a painful reality that for many modern women, marriage seems conditional. Loyalty now has a price tag, and affection is often tied to material comfort. A man who is struggling financially suddenly becomes invisible, no matter how loving or faithful he may be. A man battling illness becomes a burden instead of a partner. And yet, these are the very moments when love is supposed to be tested — when vows are meant to come alive.

Of course, there are still women who uphold the true meaning of those promises — women of strength, faith, and compassion who stand by their husbands through storms. But their kind is becoming rare in a world where materialism and social media perfection define relationships. Marriage has become more about lifestyle than life partnership, more about appearance than endurance.

Perhaps it is time we face the uncomfortable truth: the traditional marriage vows no longer reflect our modern reality. People no longer mean what they say when they make them. And if that is the case, then we need to have an honest national conversation about redefining these vows — not to destroy marriage, but to save its integrity.

Why should people promise to stand by one another “in poverty” when their actions show otherwise? Why should couples recite “in sickness and in health” when the first sign of illness leads to neglect or abandonment? Marriage vows should not be empty poetry; they should reflect truth — truth about human frailty, changing times, and what love truly means today.

This call is not about blaming women alone. It is about restoring honesty to the institution of marriage. Men, too, must reflect on their responsibilities and the promises they make. But the growing trend where a man’s worth is measured by his bank balance or physical strength is eating away at the foundation of the family. When love becomes transactional, marriage loses its soul.

It’s time to stop pretending. If society no longer believes in unconditional love, let us say so — and craft vows that speak to our reality. Let us vow to support one another through life’s seasons, to remain faithful as long as love and respect remain, to work through challenges with compassion. That would be more meaningful than repeating words that no longer hold conviction.

Marriage is still a beautiful institution — but only when it is built on truth, not tradition. If the sacred words for better or worse have lost their power, then it’s time we gave them new life — or let them rest.

The writer, Sebastian Syme, is a communications professional