A victim of marital abuse Monday morning struggled to hold back tears when she recounted the relentless abuses she suffered in the hands of her husband.
She admonished prospective couples not to ignore warning signs during courtship.
“In a relationship, we should open our eyes,” she said on the Joy FM Super Morning Show [SMS] Monday.
According to Sharon [not her real name] her beauty, self-esteem, and confidence have been completely destroyed because she ignored indicators pointing to the abusive nature of her husband when they dated. “During courting, he would scream at me but I ignored it,” she said, adding that “I used to be very beautiful. He really really destroyed me. I have lost my dignity.”
Painting a graphic picture of a love relation characterized by more hate than love, she recounted how her husband’s unprovoked verbal assaults have become incurable forcing her to seek divorce as the last option to save her life.
“I have tried to be a good mother and a good wife. The scars are really inside, worse than physical abuse. His eyes are always on my money. Children’s fees are on my head. If I try to ask him, he will insult everybody including my unborn relations,” she told Daniel Dadzie, host of the Joy FM’s SMS.
That is not all. She added, “To go to church is another, he will insult my pastor down to my unborn relatives. He will scream at me and insult my family members. He says I am a fool.”
Sharon said her husband may be suffering from insecurity and that may account for his violent and abusive behaviour.
“Some men don’t have the right kind of self-esteem to handle some particular women around them. I have tried my best,” she wailed.
She is, however, thankful that through counseling and prayers she has been able to muster the necessary courage to seek divorce, which is currently ongoing.
Sharon’s predicament mirrors exactly that of another lady whose harrowing experience formed the basis of documentary compiled by Joy FM’s Animwaa Anim-Addo.
A caller, Serwaah from Konongo, who also shared her story sobbed uncontrollably, narrating her experience with an abusive husband.
Response from Psychotherapist
Reacting to Sharon’s predicaments, a Psychotherapist, Bille Richardson, said this form of abuse is very common in Ghana, noting that two factors account for this.
There are “People from homes where beating is a sign of love“ and predators who “trap their victims to believe that without them they cannot find any form of help.”
On why people stay in such relationships, she said breaking away is “so so difficult. If there are no children it is easier but with children, it is close to impossible.”
But she maintained that this is not what love is. According to her, true love entails “good communication, Caring, sharing, support, partnership, doing things together and a healthy partnership.”
Bille Richardson, admonished persons in such relationships to surround themselves with friends and close relations to build support network.
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