Achimota School ‘Speachless’

Achimota School ‘Speachless’
Source: Mawuli Zogbenu | uselesscolumn.wordpress.com
Date: 09-11-2018 Time: 11:11:07:am
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According to the BBC (Tuesday November 6, 2018 at 7.03GMT), women who rise early from bed are less likely to develop breast cancer. According to scientists as reported by the BBC, only 1 out of 100 women who wake up early is likely to develop breast cancer. Our women, please wake up early and stop those things bi that some of you have been doing anytime we wake you up wanting to do the eyi to set ourselves in a good mood before we go to work.

The lethargic ones who want to continue sleeping till 8am are at risk o, yoo. You remember it was the same BBC that reported a couple of years ago that we should be sucking the ‘these things’ of our wives to prevent breast cancer; remember they didn’t say side Chics o even though they also need prevention. Now they say we should add ‘sori-korpra’ (i.e. wake-up-and-go-and-sweep)! Ladies, remember it’s all about early rise and slim chances of getting breast cancer o, yoo.

Ei so the Prince of Wales came to Ghana and didn’t pay a visit to the Prince of Wales College? Ayoo! Your Royal Majesty! Nukejor? Anyway it was nice meeting you. ‘Yevu yevu bonsoe…mana mana bonsoe! Those days when we saw a whiteman, even in Accra here, we would sing songs with brass band music all over the place just bcos we have seen a whiteman. Ao. Hmmm! I remember we almost sang for one such ‘whiteman’ before we realized he was not a whiteman but a certain Joseph Arabi, from my hometown! Hahahahahaha!

Your Royal Majesty, please tell the Queen that the Prince of Wales College, aka Achimota School, is still in its business of setting the pace and developing and modifying words that are uniquely arranged to affect the dynamics of English literature and grammar! Just last week, ‘Borad’ of Directors has been created by Achimota! Achimotans are good at setting the pace and standards for almost everything brofo! True? Yes!

The ‘Achimota School Borad’ is the tallest among all boards as the newly created word for school boards is ‘borad’ which can be defined as ‘an extremely tall person…generally of great intelligence, not so? Google tells me that the Karfelons used "Borad" as a title, like President, rather than a name.

I was in the Assembly Hall of Motown last Saturday to witness my nephew’s award for the overall best English Language ‘Professor’ at the school’s 91stSpeach’ and Prize-Giving Day organized by the 1993 year group and prayed silently that no one should see what I was seeing…but trust social media; by the time I entered my car after the program, it was all over – ‘Borad and Speach’. I have a strong feeling the one who did the printing of the banner and the brochure attended a school whose school uniform colour is blue though I suppose those were transposition errors!

That notwithstanding Dr Sodzi Sodzi Tettey’s year group did a fantastic job for Motown and country after they have successfully electronically modified and digitized the entire records of the Grey City and in the words of Akora Edwin: ‘You took our School from the stone age into the digital age…’! The standards set for those of us in the 1994 YG (whose turn it is next year) is quite high and members of the YG have a lot to do before March 2019. The 1993 YG which comprises personalities of some of the top professions in the world  from medicine, engineering, law, business, etc is undoubtedly the year group that hosted some of the biggest and most successful programmes ever in the history of organizing Founders’ Day and Speech & Prize Giving Day celebrations. The YG having presented 12 TV sets and a washing machine to Staff – both Teaching and Non-Teaching and donating Alexa tablets with vouchers for deserving students to download instead of the traditional book prizes is definitely an awesome year group. Clap for them kpakpa kpakpakpa kpaaaaa!

1994 Year Group, are we ready to outdo the 1993 Year Group? 2019 is fast approaching and we’ve got look sharp so as to avoid any transposition something something. This time the one to do the printing of the banner and brochure would be one of our own, Nuhu and we would get it spot on – no wahala!

But one thing is still on my mind - to build a wall around Achimota School and make Preseq pay for it! Preseq boys were the guys who started ‘encroaching on our girls’ because there was no wall around the school! Even though they had a few girls attending 6th form in the Science College, Preseq boys didn’t like them; they preferred Motown girls!  

Leg Preseq Boys were bad o. Bad in the sense that even in SSS1, they could ‘steal’ your girl from you even though you were in secondary Form 5! The reason? Achimota girls in lower classes had a soft spot for guys in Lower 6 and Upper 6 whose uniforms were blue in colour. If you were a Science-bias student, then you be don! All other lower levels were cream, white or something like that. The threat was that an SS1 boy at Preseq also wore blue and so some Motown girls fell for these ‘small boys’ whom they mistook to be sixth formers as it was the case in Motown. I almost lost a very beautiful girl to an SS1 boy from Preseq just bcos his uniform was a ‘6th form uniform’ and me though in SS3, my uniform was still cream. This guy passed through Anunmle and entered from the Macarthy House area bcos there was no wall. He would walk straight to Slessor House. He always carried with him a fat Chemistry textbook.

I heard it started from the days of Dr Boom. He was seen around speaking grammar. He looked like a whiteman or is he? The Boom was in a brown pair of shorts, the famous Achimota sandals and the school cloth thrown over and above his shoulders though struggling to keep the edges of the cloth from sweeping the ground albeit his ‘borad’ height!

Konedu would walk down the Aggrey Chapel from Kingsley House, directly adjacent the Slessor House. Nana Konedu would catwalk as she takes a stroll down the greenish arboretum towards the swimming pool down the road. She would keep her eyes to the right constantly stealing a glance at Guggisberg House in an apparent attempt to catch the eyes of the Dzelukope ‘Yevu’. She would say hello and Dr Boom won’t even say a word bcos it was against the rule – boys should not be seen near girls’ houses and vice versa. She would walk to the swimming pool area to pluck some anyele fruits from the thick forest walling the school.

Bra Panyin reciprocated this ‘visit’ but this time with some boldness – this is the origin of the famous ‘Be Bold’. He walked behind the Aggrey Chapel straight to Kingsley House with no fears and knock on the door of the stern looking House Mistress facing the dawadawa tree. He would boldly ask for permission to see Nana Konedu without fear of being punished for breaking the school rule. ‘Nana Konedu is gone for choir practice at the music school’, Madam House Mistress would say. Rev Boom walks away disappointed without saying ‘thank you’ to Madam House Mistress. Housemistress calls him back: ‘Young man, which house are you? Boom replies: that is not my mission for being here Madam and I do not think it is any of your business either, right! She called the security but Boom disappears apparently into the girls gym. He called Nana Konedu’s phone but network was kinda busy!

Dr Boom is desperate to see his sweet baby! His sweet baby is learning how to sing ‘Grey City in the Outlaws Hill….’. Dr Boom, in anger gets to the dining hall. No food, no Nana. He didn’t mind. There was only one thing on his mind: ‘Where is my Nana K’?

A day before a mid-term, Rawlins joined the school choir ‘by force’- strategic positioning! His voice could not be found on the keyboard. Kenn Kaphui says NO; he resisted and sang only the song he learnt to sing in the school army cadet corps: ‘O Zamina mina wati wa…oh Zamina mina abel…abele Kumasi bantama abele oo…zamina mina yeeeyee abele ooo’.

Nana quit the choir bcos of Padiman. Padiman still remained in the choir sometimes instructing some of his seniors who came late for choir practice to kneel down and cough by force. Oh yes, they coughed!

Jerry loved to swim but only did so at the 3 feet depth of the swimming pool. Konedu offered to teach him how to swim to the 13th feet area – the skill to float on aqua! He had his own ideas. He played soccer but never touched a ball with his feet; he touched the legs of opponents in anger especially when he was dribbled unfairly. He occasionally abandoned the ball and chased a player – it didn’t have to be an opponent! When he got the ball, he’d stop the game and start asking play mates to line up and march…leyf rai… leyf rai… leyf rai!

Later when he became Head of State, I heard he mooted the idea of walling the School at some point but…

We will wall the school by all means. If possible, we will wall other buildings that found their way on to our land and ask the owners of the buildings ‘what they are doing here’!

I am bringing the offertory bowl – starting from Akora Dun Botwe, Mr Kenn Ofoli Athur, Dr. Afali Djan, Dr JJ Gboom, Hon Omafo Safo, ex Hon Bona Quartey and Fiifi Akwetey. I will take only GHC100 each from you to wall Achimota. John Dumeloo, are you there? Ten bags of cement will not kill you! Bring money o!

It’s bcos there is no wall that someone in blue uniform ‘smuggled a banner with a a newly introduced word ‘Speach’ to replace ‘Speech’ last weekend.

Belinda Gyifa Bampoe (Gyifa, you’d better let people know you used to be a long distance athlete in Motown with the name Belinda o, yoo! Shhhhh! I heard Akora Bishop Dagg Heward Mills is planning something big as collection from his Mega Church for this project; I know Preseq boys who attend his church would not pay. ‘Forgive’! Hahahaaaa!

The wall would start from Mcarthy House where that Preseq boy used to sneak through to see and ‘mia’ my girl of Slessor House Saturday nights during entertainment programmes in his ‘useless’ blue uniform.

Don’t worry; after building the wall, we would go for the refunds from Preseq old boys! Let’s make Achimota great again! We must continue to be living waters to a thirsty land and the land must be walled first not just against encroachers but also Preseq Boys in blue! This and other things I ask for in Jesus’ name I pray! Amen!


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