Friends! RamiTalkers (that's a new name for readers of this blog)! Strangers! Those of you passing by!
This is the one hundredth post on this blog! 100! Truly, ONE HUNDRED!
And here endeth the 100th post!
Okay, not quite....
I am overwhelmed. I really am. I knew I liked to talk, but not enough to write 100 posts on this blog! Ei! From where all these words?? My Mum was a talker and I cannot think of anyone in my family who could be described as 'quiet'. But still....and then of course I went and married....
Can I begin to tell you the pleasure I have found in writing this blog? Words finally fail me. If I keep this up, writing a blog, I might actually end up becoming a person!
Pleasure? Talk about understatement! It's a wordy pleasure, but it's also tactile, sensual, and damn near heavenly!
When a thought, or an idea, somehow finds its way into this sulphurous cesspit I call a brain, there is some kind of explosion. You don't hear it, I don't hear it; only I can feel it. It's very selfish. I grab the thought and I start running. Have you seen me recently? Then you know that 'run' is used very loosely indeed. But I have no idea who or what I am from running from or to. All I know is there is movement, and it's good, baby! An idea for a post on RamiTalks!
Sometimes though it feels like that thought or idea is actually playing hide and seek with me....and yet we are not looking for each other. I just know it's there in plain sight, but pretending I can't see it. When I do grab it it's usually a case of, "I'm glad you caught me! Let's run together now!!"
I've learnt along the way. Only recently I began reading full posts out loud to myself. I used to read bits and pieces at first. But I'm not sure if that's a good thing. You see I read my blog very dramatically and I doubt if you all read them the same way. So how does it help me to read them out loud if you won't read them the same way? It's fun though.
I get asked a lot about when I feel a post is ready to go. I have only one criteria: whatever the subject matter I need to laugh out loud at least once. If I can find humour in writing about a situation then I can post it. But there have been times when I have been totally lost after coming up with what I thought was a brilliant concept to write on. Did I say lost? Like Snow White without her seven dwarves!
I've discovered that writing a blog is inherently selfish. Everything about it screams ME! It's my choice of subject matter, my thoughts, my turn of phrase (well, mostly), my jokes (well, mostly), my introduction, my body (not the physical one), and my conclusion. I edit myself, and I post on a Saturday night when I should be otherwise occupied. There is no input from anyone else. Why do you think I call it RamiTalks??
I have found myself, on occasion, changing certain words for more inoffensive words. That surprises me. I never thought I would do that on a blog. You know, feeling free and all that. But I find that I actually do not want to put some off from reading me. I wonder how long that will last, not being offensive.
As you might have noticed I've managed to keep it almost completely free of politics and major social issues. There's too much of that in the media space in this country, a lot of it noise. Someone needs to talk about politics in any country. I just don't think it should be me in Ghana. In fact I've tried to steer fairly clear of very serious matters. I'm afraid I'd make jokes about these subjects and offend someone. And I'm an 'afraid man'.
How long is the perfect post on a blog? After 100 posts I still don't know. I just know that I tend to stop when I feel my point is made. I don't use a word count I'm sorry to say.
And why do I post once a week? That's about all I can manage, given the length of the posts. If I do anymore my words will finish! But are you sure you would want me more than once a week? Even I can barely handle me once a week! And I live with myself....
I love the fact that blogs can be read on the go. Truly, I am not a fan of the anti-social nature of mobile phones. Everyone is walking around with their eyes glued to their smartphones, like all the answers to all the riddles of the universe can be found there. They probably can, on Google. But at the very least you can go to RamiTalks and have a chortle or four. Of course, it also means that when someone is disputing something I said they can bring it up on the spot and prove that I am a liar.
Also thanks to this blog being out in the public eye I have connected and re-connected with so many people. This includes people who taught me or were in schools at the same time I was. It is gratifying to be in touch again, or to establish contact with people who share a part of your history. And all because of a blog, baby!
Feedback has provided enormous entertainment for me. Unfortunately most of it comes via WhatsApp, as people respond after I send them the prompt for a post. Some use Facebook and that's pretty cool too. I didn't know I had friends who could write so beautifully! Maybe you should all have blogs!
It has been interesting reading comments that are completely opposite to each other. A post is too long and also too short. You like the mixed bag posts and you hate them. There's not enough humour and there's too much humour. I should tackle serious issues and I should keep it light. Of course there has been the odd idiotic stranger to ignore, but on the whole responses have been overwhelmingly positive and humorous. Thank you for being so kind.
From a purely selfish point of view (as if I have any other type), the blog has become a means of offering others something to read. I am interested in promoting reading in our culture because Ghanaians simply do not read enough. Now when I ask what someone is reading and they say 'nothing', I can give them the link to RamiTalks. Of course I will also offer them the wife's books....but the blog first.
I have been asked to do one thing in particular, and it makes sense, but I can't. I have been asked to try previewing the next post whenever I post on a Saturday night. You know, like a teaser. I cannot because most of the time I am not certain what comes the following week. Sure I'll have an idea, but it will almost certainly change.
I posted a second short story recently. I enjoyed writing it, I really did. Can you expect more? I'm not sure, but for the moment probably not. The two short stories I have attempted came about from daydreaming, and making notes from those dreams. I guess I'll just keep drifting and we'll see what happens.
So I was going to celebrate 100 posts by writing a novel, but no; by writing a sexy post, but no; by writing a secret-revealing post, but no; by preaching a sermon, but no; by posting on military coups and their advantages, but no; by posting on which parts of women I really really like, but no; so I'm just posting on saying thanks I guess.
Truly, I thank God for bringing RamiTalks to a ripe old age of 100. Sometimes, in the holier sections of the blog (are there any?), I feel like the blog belongs to the Almighty, not to me. I just own the smuttier portions. Close behind Him is Kwame Pobee, for reasons best known to himself. Simpoo! Please don't stop, and thank you very much.
Thanks to the current occupant of my bed as well. I started this blog in the hope that it would annoy her; after all the s** I gave up for her books to be published, this was my way of getting her back. She hasn't even noticed that I am writing a blog. She says when I don't come to bed on a Saturday night she assumes I'm out playing with the dogs....like any obedient husband. I don't know why I am surprised. After all, when people ask me how I knew she was 'the one', I tell them the truth: she told me.
Oh wait....is that a topic for a future posting: 'We call them the opposite sex because we like sex and they like the opposite.'
I'm going to keep talking....
Thank you and God bless you all!
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