Mama Akanchaa has garnered a lot of experience over the years. She was of a sterner breed and exudes a rarity of impeccable feminine gestures.
When the suitor had come requesting the hand of her daughter in marriage, she was happy. Is it not the wish of every mama to see her daughter married? She, however, harboured in the recesses of her heart some worry. She had seen many relationships fail because of the excuse: the north is far...marry not from there. Mama Akanchaa knew it was not only about the distance but ignorance exacerbated by cultural deference.
Some of those who have argued that the north was far will not hesitate to marry off their daughters to unknown strangers in faraway Pinkman’s land.
When her daughter brought home her fiancé, mama knew he was kind-hearted and of noble class. The coastal young man with glee, gobbled the flour water offered him much to the pleasure of mama Akanchaa. The young man behaved as if he had lived his entire life in savanna-land. Having sought permission to take his fiancée to the coastal town to introduce to her parents, mama Akanchaa blessed them. Not long, her daughter came home with disturbing news. The same old thing of the north been far and that the young man has the choice of leaving her or risk being disowned by her family.
True, parents should play a role in guiding their wards in selecting partners but not to the extremes. Mama Akanchaa recalled how worried she was when her son Awiah introduced his fiancée to her about a decade ago. At first glance, she did not like the lady. The repulsiveness she had instantaneously developed had to do with her appearance. She had not in her entire life seen the toes and finger nails of a human so long like that of the talons of an eagle. The lady had many rings than fingers and her ears were heavily notched. Seeing, this mama Akanchaa realized that the university education had done her soon no good. If it did, why has he decided to torment her by bringing home a mermaid? How could Awiah forget so soon the childhood stories she had often told him about some strange creatures who had no scars on their bodies and carry a nauseating smell?
It took a long time before the fears of mama Akanchaa were allayed. The lady was quick to learn and was submissive. She did not do anything untoward to confirm the folkloric belief she was a mermaid. Soonest, mama Akanchaa developed the greatest of respect and affection for her.
Distance depends on ones position at a given time. People from the north also complain of the south been far. Within Ghana, there is constant movement of people from deprived areas to places of real or perceived concentrated resources. My friends have confided in me challenges in their relationships. It had to do with marrying from distant towns. On one occasion, a lady from my part of savanna-land informed me her choice of marrying a man from Ayigbe land had received a stiff resistance. Both families had accused each other of distance. As it stands now, the lady in question is married to a Caucasian in Europe whose family they do not know. Love murdered…love mutilated…love exported. It has gotten even worse in some situations.
Apart from distance, there is the subject of religion and prestige. Some parents have openly told their wards to marry riches. Yes, the human in question could be a stalk or a scarecrow but if they smell of the coin, or if their parents smell of affluence then they should settle for them. The end result; as some have divulged is rivers of tears and oasis of heart-breaks.
It is good to listen to parents, guardians, and preacher-men. It is equally good to listen to our hearts and make informed decisions. The head cannot be older than the neck that carries it. Parents have lived experiences but theirs are not without fault. Aside that, they know not all of it. They may tell you where and how to fall in love, choice of partner and marriage but they cannot walk the journey in your stead.