When it comes to people who do not care about you, I don’t know if it’s necessary to say stop caring about them outright. Your ability to feel, love and care about others has more to do with who you are.
Caring for people is a sign of health and love in relationships, so don’t shame yourself for that or try to become hard-hearted towards anyone.
That said, you must keep these feelings in their proper place and not let them control your life, emotional state, or the decisions you make.
When someone doesn’t care about you, you cannot make them. So don’t focus on trying to change their mind and don’t feel like you are unworthy of love. You are. If that person cannot see your value, that is a shame. But it is their problem.
You need to focus on being compassionate towards yourself and reminding yourself that you are enough, and that you have a lot to offer. By developing a strong and healthy self-image, you will start to make better decisions, and better relationships.
When you decide that you must be treated with respect, hold other people to that. No, you can’t make them respect you…but if they behave disrespectfully…give them consequences.
Do not remain in a relationship with someone who puts you down, degrades you or otherwise sees you as disposable. Ask for respect, and if you don’t get it, walk away from that person and do not continue to engage with them.
When you truly feel like you deserve respect and are worthy of love, you will not settle for anything less. You will start to devalue that person’s opinion of you, and fill your life with people who lift you up and affirm who you are.
If you’ve been trying to distance yourself from this person, and are still struggling, here is some practical advice.
Do not call, text, email or facebook stalk them. Do not try to insert yourself into their world to try and get validation from them. Do not spend your time focusing on what they are or aren’t doing, who they are with or really anything about their current situation if possible.
Be present in your own life. Make new, loving friends or reconnect with people you’ve lost touch with. Do something fun and laugh. Go on an adventure, start a new hobby, learn a new subject.
Basically, find something you are interested in besides that person, and spend some time filling yourself up.
Pray and forgive. When we are hurt and refuse to forgive someone for hurting us, it keeps us tied to them and allows them to have power in our lives and our thoughts.
We nurture our pain and it is hard to let go, or move on, because we keep going back to the pain.
When you can forgive them, you can free yourself from them and their toxic ways. This is much harder to do than it is to say, but it is possible.
Brittany Barbera is a musician, author, and artist from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, who has found a second home in Nashville, Tennessee, where she currently resides.