“Love at First Sight” is a popular term. There is no doubt that it exists, but is it real, and can we really call it love, and depend on it for a lasting romantic relationship and good marriage?
Now, please think along with me —- how many times have you not seen a smashing, lightening-invoking, flamboyant, sparkling, extra beautiful lady (sometimes a handsome man as well) on Facebook, photo in an album or magazine, picture on a cell phone or attached to an e-mail etc., and then you get a shock of your life when you meet the actual person who looks less than even 50% as pretty and imposing as you thought?
Some people are photogenic (photos favor them a lot, and they look extra pretty or handsome), while others are not (even the most advanced camera cannot still make them look good in a photo).
Even for physical looks, you sometimes meet the lady or gentleman at a party, on a campus, in a mall, in church, in the neighborhood, at a wedding, at some other ceremony or place, and suddenly the person’s physical attraction pulls you to him or her, and begins to melt you down. But when you later get very close, you begin to see “some flaws” in the person that quickly minimize the intensity of your initial great attraction.
These days the false hair, fake teeth and eyelashes, and even artificial moustache and camouflage for baldness in men, plus artificial boosting of breasts (and even fake buttocks) are rampant, so watch out!
In some cases it is the opposite — the person “looks okay” and “does not really kick you” in the photo or from a distance, but you meet her (or him) very closely, and your mouth begins watering because of her (or his) admirable features and especially inner great desirable qualities.
Beauty is relative, and we are often told it is in the eyes of the “beholder”. Each of us have what attracts us.
BE AWARE OF FEATURES THAT ATTRACT YOU IN THE OPPOSITE SEX, AND VIGILANTLY STOP THEM FROM MAKING YOU GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND MIND, AND ACTING “WITHOUT ANY HEAD AND BRAINS WORKING ON TOP OF YOUR BODY!”
I think “Love at First Sight” should be appropriately called “Attraction at First Sight”.
Love is a much deeper word than the way we normally misuse or misunderstand it. To LOVE someone, you must be looking out for the real needs, interests, welfare, wellbeing, and progress of the person you claim to love. How then could you just meet me and right on the spot, you suddenly embrace me and look out for all that concerns me, when you know very little or nothing about me?
With men, their greatest needs are honor, respect, admiration of their strength and leadership plus ability to provide, and desire to see domestic abilities in a woman (her good homemaking diligence, proper care for children etc.) plus BEAUTY in women.
Therefore, a major problem of men resides in their eyes, since God wired men as creatures of sight. Women are wired to be creatures of the ear (nice and sweet words; promises), touch, love, affection, pampering, time for them, rich conversation and effective communication, provision of money and needs, conviction that the man has definite plans for the future, and demonstration of compassion and care. To LOVE someone is to FOCUS ON THESE QUALITIES.
You must therefore “WALK INTO LOVE” with your senses at work, instead of blindly and foolishly “FALLING IN LOVE” along with your head and feet and entire body because of what you see and allow yourself to be mesmerized by, in terms of beauty or one fantastic good deed and achievement you see in someone; and then find out sooner or later that you have not “fallen in love” but rather “fallen into” a smelling pool of muddy water — and you are fortunate if the toxic pool you “fell into” does not have crocodiles, poisonous aquatic snakes, and other dangerous animals in addition. I can assure you that they will eat you alive!
Please, organize yourself for success in life, especially in the coming year. Listen to good advice, get good and godly counseling, pray, get God’s word into your spirit, and carefully exercise much wisdom, keen insight, and self-control in the use of your eyes and mind, in order not to confuse “ATTRACTION AT FIRST SIGHT” with what you call “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT”.
Don’t let your deep desires, thoughts, and feelings stop you from accepting realities in the person or in yourself. Don’t let your painful past experiences and personal prejudices unduly influence your interpretations.
Take time to listen to all that the person tries to tell you, and read between the lines (discern carefully). Remember that dating, courtship, and marriage are life and death matters, and have eternal consequences. Don’t also be afraid or “too melted by feelings” to ask all the sensible and important questions you need to ask. Be kind and principled enough to also provide honest answers, if you really want to date or later court the person.
AIM AT BUILDING TRUST RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.
By Rev. Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo, Virginia. Professor of Biology. International Evangelist. Bible Teacher. Author. Conference Speaker. Relationships, Marriage, and Family Counselor. Founder and President, Fruitful Ministries International Incorporated (An Evangelistic and Teaching Christian Ministry).
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