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Francis Osei-Mensah of the Hunger Project has warned of the damaging psychological effects that sibling rivalry may have on children if parents pick a favorite among their children and treat that child preferentially.
Maud A. Ashong Elliot, a lecturer at the Wisconsin International University College, added that sometimes differences between siblings that have nothing at all to do with the parents can also result in rivalries.
The two discussed the issue on Joy FM’s Super Morning Show Friday, where Osei-Mensah explained that some parents try to teach their children good behavior by rewarding the eldest for an accomplishment in front of the rest.
This strategy often has the opposite effect, he said, breeding feelings of jealousy towards the eldest child.
Along these lines, Elliot added that if parents hit one child for misbehaving and simply scold another for breaking the same rule, the beaten child can come to resent the scolded one.
Osei-Mensah urged parents to accept their children for the people they are and to nurture the talents that each child naturally possesses.
Problems arise, he said, when parents only value success in one field, such as academic performance, and give less support to children gifted in other areas, such as sports.
He encouraged family members to grow together in unity and to forgive one another at every turn.
If not, sibling rivalries can have lasting effects, a point that Elliot emphasized when she said that even today, she and her brother, who her parents preferred, care about each other but are not very close.
To avoid this outcome, she recommended that parents encourage their children to do things together so that they develop stronger relationships.
For example, parents can ask older children to wake the younger ones up and help them dress for school.
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