Red decorations and gift ideas are all over to signify that love is in the air.  Valentine’s Day is here once again and for those who have others that love and care for them, February 14th is always a day to remember. 

However, in celebrating the day, we tend to forget those who have nobody, not a child , not a parent, not a friend nor a lover to remember them and blow kisses to them on a day we are meant to show love – Saint Valentine’s Day.

I have always believed that a celebration like Valentine’s Day should rather be dedicated to the lonely at heart and not the other way round.   There is too much insensitivity these days in our world.  Many are aching in our neighbourhoods and communities with no one to talk to or hang out with.  Many go a day without food, shelter or clothing while very few have it all and refuse to share.

Even in the Church, people stick to their old friends and family hardly reaching out to those who have nobody.   The same attitude permeates at the work place and in some organisations where mixing with everyone is supposed to be encouraged. 

The Christian’s super model, Jesus Christ, made conscious effort in His days to celebrate His special kind of “Valentine’s Day” every day with all who came to Him despite the strict Jewish laws He came to meet. 

He touched the man with leprosy because He was “willing” that he got healed.  He had a conversation with the Samaritan woman and even asked for water from her. 

He selected a tax collector as one of His chief disciples and even went to his house to eat with him and other tax collectors of his kind and told a man who had been crippled from birth and shunned by many to also have his freedom to walk. 

The Muslim religion also teaches its followers to reach out to those who are dejected and have no love.  They share kindness and give special alms to the needy as the Koran enjoins them to.

Even in our traditional culture, once-upon-a-time, we were each other’s keeper to the extent that in communities, anyone could discipline anybody’s child if they saw them misbehaving.   In those same communities, one could get others, not necessarily their relations or friends to do errands for them.  Members of communities cared about each other and made effort to show love too.

These special “Valentine’s Days” have eluded us with time.  Our individualistic lives today are very much to be blamed.   We shun people with HIV/AIDS despite the consistent education on stigmatisation and the inclusion of such people in our daily lives.    

In our part of the world, we treat extreme depression as if it is an abominable disease and rather abandon sufferers instead of showing them support, love and care.  Yet, doctors tell us that each of us live with some form of depression, from the nursing mother to the chief executive whose actions and behaviours may seem like he slept on the wrong side of his bed.   Love is the healing potion for all of us.

The Spiritual teacher, lecturer and writer, Marianne Williamson, says that “A miracle is just a shift in perception from fear to love.”  There is so much meaning in the quotation of this motivational speaker.  People may find themselves on one side of the divide because they are cut off from love and appreciation by fear while those on the other side may be faced with love.  That divide needs to be overcome on a day like Valentine’s Day considering the fact that every human being is born into a loving world.

In our culture, we define this love through the naming ceremonies which brings both sides of the family together during the “outdooring” of newly born babies.   The Christians even go further to have baptism with godparents or sponsors who, in the absence of the natural parents, would ensure love, care and appropriate guidance for the child.  

Many first and second generation Ghanaians today, were born and brought up in extended family homes.  They grew up with cousins under the watch of common grandparents.  Some were even brought up by their maternal uncles and grew up with cousins who they recognised as natural siblings.

Unfortunately, along the way, some people have lost the uncompromising love they were shown as children and have learnt to become fearful.  This is the kind of fear that traps and leads people to conduct their lives in ways that take them into seclusion and rejection thus sometimes crippling them forever.  

Even the Bible talks about fear as being evil.  Valentine’s Day is the time to break the shackles of fear in people’s lives and help them to turn around as we carry love to them because love indeed is why we are put on this earth. 

So, to me, the month of February and particularly the 14th day of the month should focus on “the love that we yearn for” as Billy Ocean sang in one of his songs.  We should stretch love to those who have been crippled with fear for it is only when one switches to love that miracles happen.  Happy Valentine’s Day to the lonely and dejected.