It makes sense that after the demise of a relationship, you may still want to keep your ex in your life. After all ending the relationship does not mean you hate each other. Maintaining a connection with your ex also helps keeps you connected to certain significant times which may be very meaningful.

Beyond that, a breakup might throw you for a loop because you suddenly lose your biggest support system. This person is often your closest companion and losing the relationship means that you’re losing a big part of your social world.

With that said, there's a difference between having a friendly chat every so often and texting him good morning every morning.

 Here's what each stage of being chummy with an ex means about you (and your new relationship, if you're in one!).

Wishing Him a Happy Birthday

Well…wishing him a happy birthday (that’s if you still have the date in mind) might not be a big deal. It’ll make him feel, “well she thinks and cares about me” (and that’s exactly what it means if you did).  This applies whether you're single or in a relationship, and it's generally a healthy level of interaction.

Sending Him Links to Articles He'd Love
This is where things can potentially start to get dicey. On one hand, maybe your ex fills a very specific conversational void in your life. If you shared a particular interest like being chess players and no one else in your world was into it, it's no different than having a platonic friend with whom you share a hobby.

You can keep this up when you're in a new relationship as long as you're open about it to the new guy in your life. Of course, issues might arise. Your new partner might feel a little jealous of your friendship with your ex and it is really up to you to make a reasonable effort to make them less jealous.

If you can make accommodations for your new partner’s emotions without feeling like you're giving up something precious that can be a loving, considerate thing to do. Your ex after doing this might be crossing some lines if he pushes for you to make sacrifices after doing this.

So how do you know reaching out about random things is your brain's sneaky way of keeping things open to a romantic reunion down the line? If you're waiting with bated breath for a response, that's a problem. It should be more that if he gets back to you, it's fine, if he doesn't, that's okay. It's throwing the ball, not looking for it to turn into a came of catch you can carry on.

If you can't stop reaching out about any and everything, be honest with yourself. You might just be finding any excuse to be in touch, which can make it harder to heal. It probably means you haven't been able to really accept the breakup. Ask yourself, 'Am I just not yet able to sit with the sadness of the breakup?' What you want to do is experience the sadness, then move through it to a new place. That "new place" is probably full of amazing dates and excitingly different sex, so it's worth it to get there.
 

Hanging Out Regularly in a Group
If you two are core members of the same friend group, it's pretty wonderful when you can get back to hanging out together sans awkwardness and romantic drama. Your friends will probably appreciate this move, too. If there are no longer any hard feelings, the foundation of your friendship may be very much intact. "Why not hang out? A red flag here would be if you feel uneasy inviting your new beau to group hangouts. If you've really moved on, there wouldn't be discomfort bringing your new boyfriend into the picture.

Being Best Friends
If you can't bear the thought of life changing drastically after a breakup, you might continue hanging out one-on-one all the time and relying on each other for everything from belly-bursting laughs to emotional comfort. That may just delay the getting-over-it process. I usually advise people to make a clean break, then see how they feel several months later. A person needs time to grieve after the loss of the relationship.

And keeping this type of closeness up when you're in a new relationship isn't the healthiest move, either. If you're in a new relationship, why aren't you spending all that time and energy on your new partner?. They'll inevitably get jealous, and why wouldn't they?

If you happen to be single, staying so wrapped up in your ex is like sending the universe a sign that you’re not open to any new romance. The point of an ex is that it's over. It's in the past, and you're looking to move into the present. While there's room in there to keep an ex as a friend, make sure he doesn't get in the way of you building a new life for yourself.