This weekend, the talk of the town is about men. At the centre stage of the talk is that fatherly figure the world is celebrating tomorrow, Sunday June 18, declared as Father’s Day.

It is time to once again recall Luther Vandross’s popular hit song for families to dance and swing with their fathers once again as they mark another opportunity to celebrate together the fatherly figure, who, to many, was or is a representation of love and care.    

Seen as the strong personality in the family, the presence of a father in the home is always the pillar of security for members of his household. Undoubtedly, homes with a loving, caring and an ever present father are bound to stay closely together. 

It is always a joy to see such togetherness where the father exhibits protection and love and spends time with members of his household. The glow of closeness and openness radiates in their relationship.

The opposite however, is very true. Where the man shows very little love and care or where the father is never present in their lives, there is always tension in the home and where there is tension, insecurity rear its head. 

Celebrating love

Celebrating the specific love and care of fathers casts one’s mind back to the other side of the equation, which is, the presence of loving husbands and or partners in their woman’s life. Their care and dedication contribute greatly to the vivacity and wellness of marriage relationship, the icing almost every woman expects on the cake.

Invariably, women when in a relationship would make every effort to ensure the love does not grow cold. As mothers, wives, or just partners, women tend to be accommodating. They will bend backwards to accept faults even when they know they are not the guilty party. Their focus is to reconcile and bring peace.

That is why some women will stay in abusive relationships for as long as they can endure for the sake of peace and for the fear of the unknown should they back out of the relationship. It is at that point that the good old saying that where one is afraid of divorce or separation in a troubled marriage, one cannot find a good marriage makes sense. 

Simply put, it is only when one uncouples oneself from an abusive marriage or leaves it behind that one is likely to find a better relationship or marriage. This saying goes for both wives and husbands. However, it is most of the time a saying for wives as they are the ones who would hesitate to leave for one reason or the other, despite the pain.

Abusive relationship

Some very good women have gone through the trauma of abusive and humiliating marriages which made them feel they were nothing. The psychiatric hospitals are full of women who have had the misfortune of abusive marriages. At that point, some regret not having packed bag and baggage earlier.

Nonetheless, there are many who gather courage and walk out of abusive relationships for the sake of their sanity. Sooner than later, some such women encounter wonderful partners who made them feel like princesses. The point when one can say a man or a woman has found real love.

The life story of the late Queen of Pops, Tina Turner, will always come to mind in matters of this nature. Having suffered alleged physical and emotional abuse from her supposed childhood sweetheart, Ike Turner, ever beautiful Tina decided to call it quits with the marriage at some point.

She eventually moved to live in Switzerland, denounced her US citizenship in exchange for Swiss citizenship and settled in Switzerland. It was while there that she met her Swiss Prince Charming, Erwin Bach. They fell deeply in love with each other and later got married. That was the beginning of her calm after the storm.

Joy came out of the pain she suffered in her first marriage for she and Bach’s marriage was a perfect match described by some as one “made in heaven”. Tina met a man who was simply the best. He was by her side in thick and thin and when her health reportedly deteriorated and needed kidney transplant, the husband readily gave her one of his own kidneys so she will live. 

On her death last month, heart-broken Bach is said to have shed tears when he spoke in public about his heartbreak with losing Tina. For the first time since his wife’s funeral, Bach stepped out of the gates of their home in Switzerland to admire the mountain of flowers left at their gate by his late wife’s admirers.

Going back to the saying therefore, if Tina had not had the boldness to leave her first marriage, she never would have met her Prince Charming.

That also is the story of many women who left abusive marriages and met their heavenly partners. They started the game of love all over again and the flame never went dim on them. 

Such are the couples who would testify to the saying that the one who fears divorce never finds a good marriage. The story of when a man finds love will always remain a sweet testament.