Variations in personality differences make men and women unique in nature, and allow each gender to bring special gifts, talents, and productivity to the rich table of our relationships.
Men and women react and respond differently to things as well as different situations in life. Acquiring and working with such information has tremendous influence on our human relationships and interactions, and promotes successful courtships, marriages, and fruitful family life.
I want us to focus on gender differences in Logic (intellectuality), insight, intuition, and emotion. We can thereby educate ourselves with some important practical lessons for greater success in our daily interactions.
1) Women Are Predominantly Creatures Of Emotion While Men Are Predominantly Creatures Of Logic
All humans have emotions connected to the heart (center of the soul), but women are highly more emotional than men. Females combine all of their logic with their emotions, while men use either logic at one point, or become emotional at another point without usually combining the two as women do.
Men would usually express all of their emotion in the form of anger. Women would always express all of their emotions together in one shot — they will be hysterically angry, and show their dissatisfaction in all other areas of their being as well. That explains why women’s emotions can easily spill over. Women will almost always express the emotion first before they take time to combine the logic involved in whatever is being considered.
Learn To Nourish Your Wife Or Lover Emotionally
Because of the emotional needs of women, it is not possible to marry and make any woman happy if the man does not make diligent efforts to bond with that lady and make her emotionally satisfied. A good and loving man is the one who takes time to nourish his female lover emotionally.
A woman with emotional wounds or emotional starvation cannot enjoy life in general, and especially cannot enjoy the relationship with any man meaningfully, especially if the male fiancée or the husband is the major cause of her emotional turmoil and destitute.
Any man who takes time to nourish and properly feed the inward emotions of a woman with sweet and encouraging words that are pure and honest, and adds all the affection and practical show of love, care, and concern, will sweep that woman off her feet at all times in the relationship.
Women, therefore, become sad, empathetic, or sympathetic, more easily than men, and also weep more easily than men do. That does not mean women are always weak and timid; not at all! We can enumerate and praise the boldness and courage of several women in history, and even in our own families and communities today.
But, the emotions of many women tend to take hold of their inward parts for their perseverance to wear thin. That does not encourage many females to exercise the capabilities to endure the mental and emotional stresses that often accompany trials and the hard places of life.
Both male and females are endowed with great intellectual intelligence. Females, however, were wired by God to be predominantly more emotional than intellectual. The opposite holds for men who tend to engage in more reasoning. This is one of the major reasons why women cry more easily than men, as an expression of their emotions. Women often feel or express greater compassion for people, especially children, the sick, the handicapped, the elderly, and people they love (typically the love of their hearts — courtship partners and husbands).
This emotional nature of women brings out a vital principle for every marriage: IF A WOMAN IS NOT EMOTIONALLY CONTENT, SHE CANNOT PERFORM ANY OF HER ROLES EFFECTIVELY IN THE RELATIONSHIP, COURTSHIP, MARRIAGE, FAMILY, INSTITUTION, WORKPLACE, COMMUNITY, OR IN THE CHURCH.
Men must take pains and make time to understand the emotional nature of women. They will then, be able to love, bond to, and do teamwork with them. Men will appreciate women’s weaknesses as well as their excellent feminine qualities, encourage them to persevere in the face of adversities, and maintain healthy, stable families with them.
The emotions of women have some excess offshoots of cries, desperation, overacting, worry, fear, fits of impatience, outbursts of anger, and emotional deception, as well as bondage to some undesirable habits. Some of these are true of men too, and therefore both genders must understand each other, learn how to handle their emotions, and allow God to help them deal with each situation on its merit.
3) Most Women Tend To Possess A Larger Heart And Spirit Of Compassion Than Men
It is common knowledge that in general, women possess and express more compassion than men.
Some men may argue on this point, in view of some atrocities committed in history and in our times by Jezebel in the Bible and other women. In my opinion, because women go through the difficulties of pregnancy and the pain of childbirth, plus the labor of nursing an infant, they naturally have more sympathetic feelings and compassion for humans, especially children.
In the animal Kingdom, all mothers have a very strong passion to love, protect, and care for their offspring. After all, how many male dogs, cats, lions, whales, rats, frogs, chicken, birds etc. show any parental care and protection for their offspring?
For naturally frail and weak humans, this can have adverse effects, when women pamper their children to excessive degrees and end up spoiling them. Fathers can do the same too, anyway. There can be serious disagreements and even fights in the family regarding discipline of children, especially when the wife feels that the husband is over-stretching the limits of discipline and restricting the freedom of the children.
Couples must understand each other’s heart in dealing with people, in order to effectively accomplish teamwork in family relationships. It has to be emphasized that the compassion of women should not be selfishly and maliciously exploited by men. Some men would go to all lengths to use deception to win the sympathy of women in order to use their resources, only to disappoint them in the end. We know that it can happen either way too.
Such unfortunate abuses can be eliminated in society by the true love and power of God, demonstrated and executed through Jesus Christ. Women must yield their hearts of compassion to the Lord, be Spirit-controlled and productive, for the extension of the Kingdom of God.
4) Women Have Greater Discernment, Insight, And Intuition Than Men
Men are normally oriented to complete tasks, once they start. In many instances several men plunge ahead into tasks without much discernment to halt, postpone, regulate, alter, or even stop things completely and wait for fresh directions from God and application of his God-given natural evaluative wisdom. Not all men do so, anyway. Sometimes a man even clearly sees the danger ahead, but the natural masculine pride and testosterone-driven aggressiveness would make him throw every caution of his wife or lover through the window, and force to accomplish what is clearly waiting to become a disaster. Then he plunges himself into needless trouble, and drags everyone around him into the senseless inferno that he has fueled. We know that some women fall into this category as well, but it is more characteristic of men.
You can now understand why many men have plunged into sexual activities with women, promised them Heaven on earth, turned them into single mothers in the end, and left countless children that have spread aimlessly across the world without any fatherly love and care.
Females Have Far Stronger Senses Than Males
Women feel and sense what men do not usually feel or sense. I have seen this in my relationship with my wife in our marriage for the past 34 years of marriage, and can testify to that fact to be 100% true.
Females even have stronger sense of smell than men, and that is why they feel uncomfortable and unaroused when men approach them for romantic activities or love-making with smelling bodies (typically their mouth and armpits).
I have personally allowed this sharp-sensing capabilities in females to bless me, by letting my wife to frequently smell the armpits of my shirts (typically the ones I have worn once before but still appear neat), to determine if that particular shirt is appropriate for a certain occasion. I almost always do that before I pack my clothing for a preaching or ministry trip.
Anytime my wife says “Hmm! This pajamas (or shirt, jacket, T-shirt, singlet etc.) smells”, I immediately take it off for washing, or refuse to wear it, without any argument. This is an important part of my love and commitment for her, humility before God and an example to her in my marriage, yielding of myself for my marriage to build character in me, and allowing my wife to feel happy as the enthusiastic special helper in my life.
It was not easy for me to entertain most of her cautionary expressions when we first married. I felt (as most men do) that someone has come into my life and was “having the audacity to tell me how to dress and what to do”. Most often my wife would caution me to watch out for something negative or dangerous approaching or brewing, and I would ignore her warning, or brush her aside with the thought or words: “Oh, there goes the usual woman stuff again!” Then I would stubbornly pursue my heart’s desires, without considering the fact that the consequences of whatever I say and do, affects my wife too. Ultimately I hit the wall and run into problems. Then she would tell me: “Darling, I told you so, didn’t I?”
It took me some time over the years to humble myself and submit to my wife’s God-given insights plus the accompanying warnings and wisdom to take precautionary measures, for my own protection and the protection of my marriage and family.
I hope that any man reading this is taking a cue from me, and will allow God plus experiences of the past, to break his masculine presumptuous pride. That will enable him to train his wife to catch his vision in life, walk closely with the woman he loves, and allow his wife to feel free to become the referee when he is heading for danger. He should then make every effort to encourage the woman to regulate his life (and hers too) with the checks and balances in their activities, for their own benefit and blessings.
Women Can Make Good Predictions Intuitively
Women can intuitively predict things for them come true, to the surprise of men. That is why a woman can easily detect when a man is falling in love with her, or is cheating on her. The reasons lie in the greater and better communication capabilities of their brains, and their intense emotional (heart) make-up that perceive things more with the heart and spirit.
Females were made to be special “sensing beings” behind men to warn them of impending dangers that their rational capabilities and reasoning habits hide from them. Honestly, when the woman is a Christian and is prayerful, and is full of God’s word (which is the spiritual and moral light that our Creator designed to guide mankind), these innate talents are sharpened to the utmost for wonderful results that aid in projecting the husband to dizzying heights in achievements!
A Christian sister who was in the same church with me in New York City in the 1990’s once told me to be praying for her marriage, because her husband was being unfaithful by sexually cheating on her with another woman. I asked her if she had any evidence that her husband was sexually engaged with another woman outside their marriage. She answered me: “I have no hard evidence that he is having an affair with another woman. But I can assure you that I can sense it from his behavior. Even when he is making love to me in bed, I can sense that someone else is sharing me with him sexually.” Hmm! Common story, isn’t it?
In counseling, I have come across countless similar testimonies from unhappy women who sense and discern changes in the behaviour or attitudes of their husbands and children that strongly indicate to them that there is sexual sin going on in their lives.
Expressions Of Fear By Women Should Not Always Be Taken As Cowardice
We know that in many instances women express more fear and apprehension than men, especially when a project has failed before, or concrete future or retirement and savings plans have not been put in place for her and her husband, children, family members, or friends, for them to be very sure of what they are plunging themselves into as they navigate their way ahead in life.
Faith is good, but God does not expect us to also rush and exercise blind faith when we have not planned properly or actually heard God giving us clear instructions. Usually, the woman tells the man: “Darling, I sense or feel it, but cannot really explain it.” Because men are used to “reasoning it out first”, they do not accept the caution or emphasis of the woman. The man regards it as one of the “usual emotional, non-rational (and therefore seemingly unintelligent), fear-based input of women.” Most men take the cautionary and “take your time” expressions of women to be a drag and a setback upon their lives, and “throwing of cold water on their hot plans.”
Men are therefore tempted to hide their plans from women quite often, or ignore any warnings, since they take the honest God-given cautionary and insightful protective expressions of women as expressions of cowardice that usually stop men from exercising their “manly faith” for courageous and intelligent achievements.
Well, the men usually get their results, but often do not get the success story they expect. They then realize and say: “I should have listened to my wife after all!”
It takes a lot of humility towards God and man, and submission to God’s word and God’s will, to strike the proper balance between the normal feminine fear and indecision of women, and their God-given talent of emotional insight, and allow the women to fully be of maximum blessing to men.
This is why God told both husband and wife in Ephesians 5: 21 to “submit to one another in the fear of God (out of reverence for Christ)”. Only the fear of God and humility of heart will make a person develop an obedient heart that listens to advice.
The wife should know that when she humbles herself and submits to the leadership of her husband, it encourages the husband to also have a listening ear for the suggestions emanating from her keen insight. This will enable the man to build mutual agreement between the two of them, and take all the cautionary measures for mutual success.
I strongly advice the ladies not to only tell us (the men) what is wrong, but to also tell us what is right; by thoughtfully, respectfully, humbly, gently, and wisely suggesting to the men what should be done as better alternatives and substitutes when they genuinely point out anything wrong they have observed or sensed in the lives of the men or in the relationship (courtship, marriage, friendship etc.).
As the Leader in the family, the man must also humbly, wisely, and lovingly respond appropriately to the constructive criticism or wise suggestions of the lady; because the man can frustrate and shut up the woman, or tempt her to become stubborn and disrespectful, if he appears to be stubborn, incorrigible, proud, uncooperative, and unteachable, no matter when and how the woman cautions or gives him caution and good inputs.
Written by Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo, Biology Professor, Ordained Licensed Minister, International Evangelist, Author, Conference Speaker, Bible Teacher, Marriage and Family Counselor, Virginia, USA. E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tune in to JOY 99.7 FM in Accra (transmitted through LUV 99.5 FM in Kumasi), Ghana, to listen to Dr. Kisseadoo’s weekly broadcast “Hope For Your Family” on Sat. 5:30am-6am, Ghana time (1:30am-2:00am, US Eastern Time in March –November). Access the broadcast on the Internet with MYJOYONLINE.COM.
For free counseling, programs, prayer, messages, books, speaking engagements, call Dr. Kisseadoo in Virginia on 1-757-7289330 (or call Fruitful Ministries on 233-20-8126533 in Accra or 233-275-353802 in Kumasi, Ghana). Obtain Dr. Kisseadoo’s books directly from him in Virginia, or from Amazon.com, or in Accra from Challenge Bookstore, or from Baptist Bookstore opposite Anglican High School at Amakom in Kumasi; or call his Literature Manager in Accra on 233-20-8209567. Website for resources: www.fruitfulministriesint.com.