" If success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your own heart, it is no success at all"- Anna Quindlen

Are you despondent about your current job? Do you detest Monday mornings or waking up every morning for work?

Is your job becoming more stressful for you? Do you find life to be meaningless? Are you always scared to be fired from your job? Does your Job seem like a treadmill with endless tracks? Have you come to a dead end at your job or life with no desire for what you are currently doing? Are you living at the mercy of someone? Is the stability of your job or life dependent on someone's decision? Is someone calling the final shot in your life?

If you answer yes to any of the above, you are not living life on your own terms. In other words, you are not in your destined domain - calling, purpose, or placement in life.

According to a recent study done in America, over half of the population are dissatisfied with their jobs in spite of working in the world's most powerful economy. One research was concerned that, "Although a certain amount of dissatisfaction with one's job is to be expected, the breadth of dissatisfaction is somewhat unsettling, since it carries over from what attracts employees to a job to what keeps them motivated and productive on the job."

If money and fame give satisfaction in life, Hollywood actors and actresses would have been the happiest people on earth and they would never be on drugs, behave irresponsibly, or even commit suicide.

The solution to this quandary is Living life on your own terms. Thus, doing something you were born and equipped by God to do that would bring fulfillment and significance to your life as a person.

Chris Brogan,  American author, journalist, marketing consultant, and speaker argues that "The goal isn't more money.

The goal is living your life on your own terms."  Part of the reasons why most people are frustrated about their jobs and in life is, they are not in their assigned domain  - a place where they do their  work  with excellence, commitment, and enthusiasm.

The general ambiance around most workplaces is invariably marred with negative attitudes since most of the employees  are not working  on their own terms. As such, negative practices like: bad-mouthing  the company and its leadership to fellow employees and even customers to disrupt their morale; showing up late to work and disappearing anytime they wish; not adhering to supervisory directives and company procedures; treating clients awfully, as well as pilfering company's resources, become pervasive thereby poisoning the work environment.

Displacement in one's area of endowment and assignment in life can cause a myriad of problems ranging from spiritual, psychological to physical. Bear in mind that only a few people step into their calling or purpose  right from birth.

The rest of us have to diligently discover and develop our calling, gifts and abilities  while transitioning from our jobs (professions) to our work (calling).

As a matter of fact, this is also where most of us either come to a standstill, get frustrated or dejected but If you really want to have a lasting impact and be extremely successful in life, then you have to resolve to take life on by living it on your own terms.

A young man nicknamed Sly from a very poor family, experienced complications during birth leading to the lower left side of his face being paralyzed, including parts of his tongue, lip, and chin, and as a result had a snarling look and a slurred manner of speaking.

However, he resolved to live life on his own terms by going the extra mile. Sly was raised in an area in New York known as Hell's Kitchen and as a child bounced from one foster home to another owing to abject poverty and the bad marriage of his parents.

His oddly paralyzed face and troubled history made him a loner among his classmates.

At school, Sly most of the time received suspensions for his frequent fights, poor grades, and behavioral issues. After years of hardship and living on the streets of New York, Sly eventually decided to further his education at the American College of Switzerland and the University of Miami, aiming to obtain a B.A. degree in Drama.

In the process of time, he decided this path was not for him and left for New York even before graduation to pursue an acting career. In New York, Sly was met with countless failures, disappointments, and  rejections that  he became frustrated with life.

One winter afternoon, walking on the cold streets of New York City, he wandered into the local library to warm up where he scanned through the classic books of renowned writers.

After that day, he became inspired to persist with his screenplays and various writings which previously yielded no success. In 1975, Sly saw the boxing fight between Muhammad Ali and Chuck Wepner.

In that fight, Wepner who was the underdog and had no real chance of winning was getting totally slaughtered but kept on persisting and coming back for more. That night, Sly received an inspiration from the underdog fighter and wrote 24 hours straight, penning down a script about the fight. After completing the script, he tried selling the screenplay with the intention of playing the lead role but was faced with enormous rejections. Sly, who was persistent on living life on his own terms, insisted that he must play the lead role in the film else he wouldn't sell the script.

Producers were not willing to take a chance on him in this role because he was completely unknown, and they wanted a celebrity star. He was told he was not an actor but a writer, to which he disagreed and replied, "I am an actor."

He declined an offer of over $100,000 to allow someone else play the lead role in spite of being financially bankrupt.

The producers kept increasing the offer just so Sly would sell them the script without playing the part.

They ultimately offered him $400,000 and he still declined. He insisted that he was an actor and that was it; there was no compromise. Finally, they acquiesced to Sly's proposal but offered him a paltry $25,000, which they could afford to gamble on him as a lead role. To their utmost surprise, Sly's film, Rocky became a global commercial success and an Oscar winner.

It was nominated for ten Academy Awards in all and went on to win the Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Directing and Best Film Editing. The film series of Rocky has grossed more than $1.25 billion at the worldwide box office and this young poor kid is the legendary Hollywood actor Sylvester Stallone.

Sly is among Hollywood's highest paid actors today because he determined to live life on his own terms even when it was not popular, favorable, and realistic.

Mankind was created as freewill agents with the power of volition. Hence, anytime we find ourselves living at the mercy of someone or below our destined domains in life, we inevitably become perturbed and dispirited. Someone once said, "I'd rather die on my own terms than live on theirs."

We all came into this world carrying precious and valuable gifts wrapped and parceled which was intended to take care of us and the world at large, and it is highly in demand in today's society but most of us choose not to open those gifts deposited within us.

It is sad to say, most people would go back to eternity with all their parcels unpacked.

Living life on your own terms means you know you are of  great value to the world. When you are valuable, people would eventually dig for you like diamond, seek for you like gold, hold you in high esteem just like a precious gem, and scramble over you like an oil well. It makes no difference working for someone or yourself, when you bring a valuable contribution to any environment, you are handled with distinction and honor.

Despite his experience of complication during birth leading to being physically challenged, underprivileged from a broken family, and having encountered a truckload of disappointments, Sly chose to hold his head up high in life and settle for nothing but the best.

Don't get me wrong; Sylvester Stallone worked numerous menial jobs while working on his dream to become an actor.

Therefore, don't sit down idling all in the name of waiting for your ship to come in. You could be delivering newspapers, magazines, or any product;  hold down two jobs, go to school and work full time at the same time, go to the village and start a farming project though you are urbanized; or do any kind of Job and still live life on your own terms.

In his book  My Vision: Challenges in the Race for Excellence, Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Vice President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, and emir of Dubai advising on grabbing every opportunity life presents with two hands said, "With each new day in Africa, a gazelle wakes up knowing he must outrun the fastest lion or perish. At the same time, a lion stirs and stretches, knowing he must outrun the fastest gazelle or starve. It is no different for the human race. Whether you consider yourself a gazelle or a lion, you simply have to run faster than others to survive."

Running faster than others to survive, means you have to be willing to do  whatever others wouldn't do legitimately today, to get what they can't get in the years ahead of you. You may have to work as a janitor now though you may be destined to be the next President of your country, an astute entrepreneur, a great man or woman of God or a CEO of a reputable company.

Just  know your worth; be excellent - doing your best at all times; be diligent where you are on the way to where you are going in life and the following suggestive steps would  help you live life on your own terms:

VALUE YOUR EXPERIENCES - Life experiences- the hurts, pains, and disappointments  do not come to make you bitter but better. Yes, it could be hurtful, painful, and disappointing but you can either use it to propel your dreams  into a desired future or as an excuse to remain disgruntled and cantankerous. I urge you to value your experiences, learn from them, and capitalize on them to advance into the future . It's not what happens to us in life that affects us; it's our reaction to what happened that determines the outcome. British politician and statesman, Winston Churchill believed that, "Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."

BE YOURSELF - Until you are ready and courageous to be the person you were created to be without any external influences, you can't live life on your own terms. It is funny how friends and loved ones have their opinions of who they think you should be in life though you aren't their creation. Also, refuse to live life as though you are waiting for people's approval to become who you were created to be. Someone once said, " Be yourself. Apologetically."

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - Confidence in yourself is one of the most powerful and invaluable tools in the pursuit of your dreams and purposes in life. It's extremely vital that you believe in yourself, your gifts, abilities, calling, dreams, purpose, and talents because you would come across people who would feel duty-bound to tear you or your dreams down out of ignorance, greed, resentment, or low self-esteem. In this world, if you don't believe in yourself and what you are carrying within you, no one else would. It's very funny and strange to say that people's attitude towards you is mostly predicated on your self-belief and self-worth. See, you mirror your self-confidence and sense worth. I have this phrase of affirmation I always confess to myself: I LIKE ME! Be comfortable in your skin, believe in who you are, and don't belittle yourself while dreaming BIG.

BE ORIGINAL- You were created with the mark of originality and greatness; among the over 7 billion people on earth, no one has the same DNA (genetic coding) as you. Living life on your own terms requires uniqueness, not copy-cat. No matter how renowned, prolific and seasoned those ahead of you in your calling, profession, or giftings are, don't be their duplicate copy; choose to be an original of yourself. Learn from them, be inspired by them, seek their guidance and wisdom, but never be their carbon copy.

LOVE WHAT YOU DO  -  American fashion designer, Vera Wang is convinced that, "When you have a passion for something then you tend not only to be better at it, but you work harder at it too." Having the Love for your job or the work of your hands irrespective of how menial or unnoticed it may seem, energizes you to work harder  and longer  in any enterprise than all your contemporaries which inevitably sets you up to live life on your own terms.

COMMIT TO PERSONAL GROWTH - "There is a theory of human behavior that says people subconsciously retard their own intellectual growth. They come to rely on clichés and habits. Once they reach the age of their own personal comfort with the world, they stop learning and their mind run on idle for the rest of their days. They may progress organizationally, they may be ambitious and eager, and they may even work night and day. But they learn no more," Philip B. Crosby. You can't live life on your own terms except you make yourself valuable. Being a person of value demands constant development and personal growth; as someone once said, "He who learns the most earns the most." Development and personal growth gives you an edge over your competitors and makes you indispensable.

Dare to live life on your own terms and determine to work diligently towards your dreams, hopes, and aspirations in life, and watch life give you its best. Sanders, Col. Harland advised, "I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor the amount of labor, nor the amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know."

In conclusion, let me leave you with this beautiful quote from American business magnate, inventor, co-founder and former chief executive officer of Apple computers, Steve Jobs: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

May you be empowered to live life on your own terms and find the boldness to believe in yourself while you work on natural endowment in spite of the demands and challenges of life, to rise to become who you were really created to be. Discover Your Greatness!

The author, Dr Otchere-Asamoah is an Inspirational Speaker, Psychotherapist, Author and Entrepreneur.