Share your concerns.
Voice out what troubles you.
Don’t wait, for, silence sometimes dims the urgency.

Are you uncomfortable with some goings-on and you want to manage them like that? It is not okay to manage what can be addressed. There are moments when silence is golden and there are also moments when silence is wooden.

Speak your mind even if your voice shakes - Maggie Kuhn encourages. But this is it. People usually get into avoidable trouble when they speak their minds, which is why they have chosen silence instead. Is it a good idea to stop speaking? Probably not. There are ways to express yourself that will not land you in trouble at all. Before we find out the ways, let’s first look at why people get into trouble when they say what needs to be said.

Cultural or social expectations. In some environments or societies, speaking your mind means defying authority and therefore anyone who speaks their mind is branded as disrespectful. Does this sound familiar or it is a question for the gods?

Disruption of power dynamics. There are times when speaking out is said to disrupt power dynamics and those in positions of authority might perceive it as undermining their control. Raw truth can be quite discomforting, can’t it? So speaking out or saying it as it is, comes across as harsh criticism or exposing someone.

A threat. Sometimes expressing yourself is seen as a threat and the threatened one will not take it lightly. When care is not taken, the threatened one will actually threaten the one who speaks up.

Whether you agree or not, these nuances matter, dear people! We should always be mindful of where we are or stand, and rock the boat in a way that will lead us to the safe place we intend to get to.

What is your intent of speaking your mind? It is either to right some wrongs or get answers. In short, for change and clarity, c’est tout! What is the point if you speak out and not get your answers or the wrongs remain? To speak our minds for the desired results, we must carefully weave tact and empathy into our words. That way, our communication will be thoughtful and we won’t appear or sound abrasive.

Be sure to choose the right place and time. Find a private or calm environment, and trust me, your words will be better received. You should meet your boss in his/her less busy moment and alone. You shouldn’t say sensitive things at meetings when everyone is gathered. It never works and I am not sure it ever will.

Don’t be confrontational, be conversational. In your conversation, avoid using words like, “you are always…” “you never…” they are too accusatory. Rather, focus on you and say something like “I feel unappreciated when…” “I feel we could consider…” If you get aggressive, the session won’t yield. Use empathetic language, this shows that you are ready to have a solution-oriented chat. For example, “I understand how weighty your task is which can be frustrating but I’d like to share something with you…”

Be attentive to your tone and non-verbal cues. Stay composed and let your body language reflect that you are in for a discussion and not a confrontation. If not, you will be misunderstood.

Ask questions, respect differing opinions and be ready to accept disagreement. You won’t always have it going the way you wish, but speak your mind anyway.

One more thing before I say cheers. You don’t always need to speak your mind on every single issue. Speak your mind only when you need to. Sometimes, just sometimes, silence or a delayed response allows you to gather your thoughts and choose which issues are worth addressing.

Cheers!

Lighthearted is a page intended to release happy hormones in your system. It addresses everyday issues in a casual and informal way. Serious issues are discussed in a relaxed manner. Release the tension as you read it. It’s as breezy as it is insightful. Enjoy!

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About The Author: The writer is a public servant. On the fringes, she works with words because she believes that words unleash creativity and drive action. Writing, teaching and reading are her favourite three.

Email: christadelaclarke@gmail.com