NUGGETS OF GOLD

NUGGET OF GOLD #11

The “Gold Nugget” series are exhortations and ideas you can ponder over and marinate on as additional enlightenment for guidance, wisdom, and encouragement, as you navigate your way through life. They will be helpful as we make and execute plans for the success of the year 2016 and beyond.

LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON

In all spheres of life, each of us craves for the right person (for relationships, friendship, courtship, marriage, business partnership or promotion, investment, ministry, church affairs, roommate, leadership and election into office, government, accommodation, as a boss or employee, organization, company etc.).

But, in reality, we should not primarily focus on GETTING THE RIGHT PERSON for anything, without first focusing on BEING THE RIGHT PERSON for all right and good things in this world. This is because the other “right or good person” is also looking out to spot the “right and good person” as the best partner for himself or herself.

In fact, if you are the “wrong person”, it will be difficult to fully recognize who is the real “right and good person”. Because the your probable low standards, spiritual or moral blindness, or undesirable habits and “wrong lifestyle”, will repel and put off any real “right and good person”, who is potentially “right” for many people (and not just for you alone), and who has keen insight with sharp eyes to see “how right or wrong you really are” for his or her future success and happiness.

GOOD QUESTION: Are you the “right person” who can wisely and productively manage or handle the other “right partner or right thing” you are looking for? Are you really a “right person” who can be trusted with the “right or good thing”?

Can you be trusted to successfully handle a “right and good partner” in a relationship, courtship, marriage (good wife or good husband), or wisely handle in-laws? Can you be really entrusted with good children, good parents or guardians, a good job, money, car, house, property, God’s anointing and gifts, success in ministry, profitable business, position of responsibility or election into a respectable office, good Facebook friendship, educational or travel opportunities, favor, scholarship, promotion etc.?

The truth is that some of us should have already gone far in our race of life, and would have advanced victoriously with much success, especially in the challenging or tough areas of life right now, if only we had cultivated the habit of focusing more on personal changes in personal character, acquisition of the right tools for future fruitfulness, and cultivation of desirable and necessary “right and good qualities or habits”, which will enable us to prepare very well for future success, and will also help us to quickly see and bond with the “right or good person” who has been waiting for us at the “right place” for a very long time. 

NUGGET OF GOLD #12

RESPECTING AUTHORITY

Any form of respect for authority begins at home. It begins with respect for your parents and guardians (the first authority you are exposed to from infancy). Parents and Adults in homes therefore have the obligation to teach children how to respect and submit to their leadership, counsel, guidance, and training at home and in the family setting, and thereby submit to any authority that is placed over them for their good and for future success.

Respecting any designated authority (Father, Mother, Big Sister or Big brother, Father-In-Law, Mother-In-Law, Uncle, Auntie, Adult, Supervisor, Boss/CEO, Teacher, Chair, Pastor, Elder, Deacon, Group Leader, President etc. and Any Person in a position of authority) is not a sign of weakness, inferiority, defeat, disregard of your experience or talents, and restriction of your freedom, but is rather a mark of wisdom, growth, maturity, love, enlightenment, and development of a humble and gentle character that will ultimately draw God’s grace and favor. It will also receive the approval of people and the building of sweet relationships plus delightful friendships.

Respecting authority enables you to develop a teachable spirit and keen insight for enlightenment and acquisition of knowledge that will enable you to plan well and strategize better for meaningful progress in life; and will open the door for you to prosper in any organization, institution, relationship, or important position that is entrusted to you.

You cannot enjoy any relationship, marriage, ministry, school, business partnership, workplace, or position of responsibility if you have a proud, uncooperative, overassertive, unteachable, and defiant spirit of rebellion against authority.

Anyone who does not know (or learn) how to respect or submit to authority AT HOME, will rebel against authority AT SCHOOL; and cannot respect authority ON THE JOB --- so you CANNOT BE HIRED by employers; and you WILL NOT BE PROMOTED ON THE JOB OR ELECTED INTO A HIGH OFFICE because YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO RESPECT AUTHORITY; and therefore YOU CANNOT BE ENTRUSTED WITH THE MANAGEMENT OF AUTHORITY for any higher position; because people will have doubts about how well you will treat the people placed into your care and who must function productively under your authority.

NUGGET OF GOLD #13

DON’T FAKE “YES” OR “NO” TO PLEASE EVERYBODY

Do you sometimes find it hard to courageously and honestly say “yes” or “no” to people when you need to do so? You are not alone in this sticky quagmire of being unable to “comfortably and boldly speak your mind” on issues. Sometimes your answer is somewhere in between yes and no --- not a blatant lie, but is also not the real truth. It is similar to someone who has lost his or her job and is presently jobless, and you ask the one: “So what are doing now?”, and the person replies: “I am between jobs”.

Once upon a time in 1980 I was a graduate student traveling from Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology in Kumasi (Ghana) to teach Biology in Tweneboa Kodua High School in Kumawu (a town 35 miles away). I had been a Biology Teacher and Head of the Science Department in that school before leaving for Graduate School. I arrived one afternoon and taught all my scheduled classes till 9pm, and slept in the home of the Headmaster who kindly offered me a lodging place whenever I visited. The next morning I got up, brushed my teeth, and decided to “do some simple wiping” and then proceed back to campus and have a good bath there. The Headmaster’s wife was upstairs, and when she looked down she saw me at 6:30am standing looking great in the yard; and before I could utter a word, she predicted my move and asked me loudly: “Oh, Mr. Kisseadoo, are you leaving so early?” I replied “Yes Mom”. Then she followed up with an unexpected question: “But, have you had your bath?” Oh my goodness! What is this woman doing to me? It shot at me like a boomerang, because a number of the students were around looking at us, and I spontaneously replied: “I have dressed up”. Wow! I could not readily say “yes” or say “no”. Of course everyone saw me dressed up; but that is not the question the lady asked me. Hahaha! What an answer! A response that was somewhere between milk and yoghurt; between sweet orange and lemon. I supposed she read between the lines and shut her mouth. I went away pondering over my amazing answer, and wondered if any of the students (and especially the woman) really understood if I meant “yes” or meant “no”.

Although this is a common human nature for being “unpredictable” in your responses from time to time, IF it becomes your habit, then it is a serious weakness that you need to diligently admit and deal with. Your integrity will be grossly compromised, and people cannot safely trust you.

Do you realize that when a crocodile opens the mouth very widely at you, it is difficult to tell whether it is laughing at you or is going to swallow you alive!

But, how can anyone enjoy a meaningful partnership or relationship with someone whose “yes” could mean “no”, and his or her “no” could actually be a “yes” within him or her?

For example: When riding with your friend or partner who is driving, and he or she asks you: “Are you feeling hot (or cold) in this car” (as he or she adjusts the cooling or heating system). Then you answer: “No”, or “I am fine”; or “It is okay”, when it is contrary to how you really feel. Sometimes we say “No problem” which is ambiguous, or really means “Not at all”. But, it doesn’t help when I see you removing your jacket or putting on your coat, or rubbing your palms together and shivering, or rather sweating.

If I serve you a meal and I ask you: “Are you enjoying the food?”, and you answer “yes” when I see an opposite expression or a fake smile on your face, and witness the long pause between your chewing and your scooping of the next spoonful.

If I ask you: “Are you enjoying working with us?”, and you answer “yes of course” to impress the boss or friend, when you voiced your frustrations to a friend, and I catch you frantically looking online for a new job. In some cases if the person responds: “Why are you asking me?”, then you must discern and respond to the one accordingly in a wise manner.

Possible Reasons are: I am shy; He (or she) will not understand me; I will lose favor with him (or her); As for me I don’t trust people, so I will not let people know my mind easily; I might be snubbed, suffer rejection, lose some benefits, or end up weakening my intimate relationship with him (or her), or even be punished; My answer could become a future weapon against me; I might embarrass him (or her); I might diminish his or her enthusiasm and delight; I might appear picky and unable to adjust easily etc. On the other hand if you have become a habitual liar from prolonged practice of un-truth, then you need to work on yourself for transformation that will make you a truth-teller.

Whatever the case, all of us must try to let all of our “yes” be truly “yes” and all of our “no” be forthrightly “no”, in order to promote trust and the accompanied love, integrity, and faithfulness necessary to make our relationships flourish to fruition.

The truth is: YOU CANNOT ALWAYS PLEASE EVERYONE by forcing to say “yes” or say “no” when you don’t need to “lie” in order to score some points to gain any human approval.

By Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo, Biology Professor, Ordained Licensed Minister, International Evangelist, Marriage and Family Counselor, Virginia, USA. E-mail: kisseadoo@msn.com.

Tune in to JOY 99.7 FM in Accra, Ghana to listen to Dr. Kisseadoo’s weekly broadcast “Hope For Your Family” on Sat. 5:30am-6am, Ghana time (12:30am-1:00am, US Eastern Time in November - March). Access on the Internet with MYJOYONLINE.COM.

For free counseling, programs, prayer, messages, books, speaking engagements, call Dr. Kisseadoo in Virginia on 1-757-7289330 (or call Fruitful Ministries on 233-20-8126533 or 233-276-322982 in Accra or 233-275-353802 in Kumasi, Ghana). Obtain Dr. Kisseadoo’s books in Accra from Challenge Bookstore, or from Baptist Bookstore opposite Anglican High School at Amakom in Kumasi; or call his Literature Manager in Accra on 233-20-8209567. Website for resources: www.fruitfulministriesint.com.

In Ghana, call Tigo or Airtel 545 and follow the prompts for daily inspirational messages of Dr. Kisseadoo. Permission granted to freely share but with acknowledgment.