A year ago, I was on a flight from New York to Ghana. An hour after take-off, we experienced the scariest turbulence in my entire flying history. For those familiar with speaking in Tongues, I found myself doing so for an extended period.

I rededicated my life to God and promised if I got home in one piece, I would never travel to America [I overreacted; I’m currently in the USA visiting the family as I type]. This was me on the phone recounting to my friend Tilly while waiting at Chicago airport for the connecting flight to Atlanta.

Sitting next to me was a lady who was using the third charging spot. I noticed she was also on call but not as loud as I was. For whatever reason, I noticed the conversation she was having made her face turn pink and her eyes filled with tears. I told Tilly in the Ewe language that I sensed something troubling her.

Before Tilly could say anything, the lady, this time with a loud, shaky voice, said, “Nicholas, can we start all over again? We can’t just be over! We talked about this babe.”

She continued the call but moved away so the rest of us, including Tilly wouldn’t further listen to her conversation with her ex-boyfriend of 2 years.

When she returned to her seat, she was tearing up; she came closer and hugged me. Oh dear, she needs that hug. She whispered while shedding those tears on my shoulders. (I tried to make this work, but he chose to break up with me today, and he had to do it over the phone. I love that man. He said he loved me too but doesn’t feel the same anymore.)

The lady cried and kept asking why it had to end up the way it did. She confessed he was the love of her life. The drama came to an end when it was time to board. Since we had different seats, I lost sight of her. I didn’t get the chance to bid her a proper goodbye, just the “take it easy” I said before we began boarding.

My question is, what happened?

Break-ups happen all the time, but really, what happens between the number of days, months, or even years people have spent together from the first meeting till one wakes up, and suddenly, the love, care, and any form of affection disappears into thin air?

Then you hear phrases such as “I hate him so much! I don't ever want to see him anywhere in my life! He makes me so mad. She's disgusting; what was I thinking to have ended up getting involved with this shameless lady?” She better not think of ever crossing my path!”

We've all heard these statements and even more daring ones before. In fact, even got to the extent of harming their partner, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. Call it the effects of breakups or broken hearts.

Everyone (adults), I'm sure, has experienced or been at this stage at least once in their lifetime. Even I got dumped before! (It's not my fault, though; he went back to his baby Mama).

But really, what happened? We swore to love and to hold, in sickness and in health. Some even swore they couldn't live without each other. Don't get me started on the phrase “I can't breathe without you!”

And then out of the blue, "let's call it quits, I don't love you anymore, let's divorce".

My confusion is what happened during the sweet days of fresh love, steamy s*x, beautiful children, and the very happy life everyone started with. Couldn’t you just talk things over, have honest conversations, and make it work? People go as far as citing irreconcilable reasons as to why they can't be together any longer. Some children are not allowed to see their fathers and some their mothers because the love once shared has turned into a pool of hate that keeps expanding by the day. Some capitalise on that toxicity and even harm their lovers.

Recently, in the news, a 52-year-old man inflicted knife wounds on his lover because he believes she will leave him for another man! We read it in the news every day! Why that policeman allegedly killed his 23-year-old lover is still a mystery. Where did the love go, or perhaps where is the love? I believe that is what I’m asking.

Keepers of the gate of wisdom, kindly let me in. Share your thoughts and experiences here with me. Maybe, just maybe, we can start from somewhere.

The author, Rebecca Tweneboah Darko (Becky), is an entertainment journalist with The Multimedia Group. The views expressed in the article are her own and do not reflect the sentiment of the institution. Facebook: Becky Gh. Instagram: @iambecky23. Twitter: @iambecky23. E-mail Rebecca.darko@myjoyonline.com.