Audio By Carbonatix
I once read somewhere that one of the commonest fears among human beings is the fear of speaking in public? Really?
For me, that is usually not a problem at all. I mean, I stand before people lots of times as part of my work. However, I battle with another fear (well lots, but I shall write about only one for now…HEIGHT!). Let me tell you a story…
Once upon a time probably 20 years ago, I promised myself NEVER EVER to go on the Kakum National Park canopy walkway again! All I can recall from the trip was that it was super scary and I did number one (yes! weeweed!) three times on the seven-course canopy walkway.
You see, I have a deep fear of heights. As for flying on a small plane, it literally kills me. From the minute I know I have to fly between Kumasi-Accra, I will fret and fret until on the D-day when the plane actually lands and I promise myself NEVER to fly again.
Back in Archbishop Porter Girls' I managed to say no to the canopy walkway again when most of my mates went on it during a class trip. I had made a resolve and nothing was ever going to change that.
Well, until recently when my family took a trip to the coast again. Hmmm, we decided to go to Kakum but of course I knew I was not going on the canopy walkway so I was not perturbed at all. However after the Receptionist cajoled my kids to go along, I said to myself 'courage is not the absence of fear...I will talk to my mind the same way I do whenever I am on a flight'. Then, I said to my husband, ‘I must not deny the kids this adventure just because of my fear of heights’. We reached a decision; we were all going!
So we got to the edge, I took one look at it and every molecule in me told me 'No!' Yet I was not ready to give up this time. I went anyway, my husband ahead, followed by our son, daughter and then me'. Surprisingly the kids were not that scared, perhaps because we were with them or they simply did not understand what all the fuss was about. But as for me I was literally melting, I felt this strange surge of unexplainable lightness in my chest area. About 5 steps in, as the dreadful canopy creaked, rose and fell I started repeating 'we can do this, don't look down, just keep your eye on Daddy's big head'. I must have said it like a hundred times during the first course alone and it got the kids giggling. I also feigned some giggles. Fact was, I was saying it more to myself than to them. I was so terrified I refused to look down but kept looking at my husband's head and talking.
I would have loved to tell you that I finished the full 7-course, but no. I could not. I simply did not have the heart to go through with it, well that is what I thought. So I took the short cut and did 3 courses instead. For courses 2 and 3 as well, I kept talking and saying positive things till I finished.
Lessons learnt?
1. It is better to start something and fail than not to start at all. Oh the feeling when I finished the 3-course…priceless!
2. Always ALWAYS stay focused on a positive thing. The environment may look scary but pick a focus and keep your eye there until your goal is achieved. Trust me, if I had taken my eye off my husband’s head I would have most likely laid flat on the canopy walkway, refusing to move until I was drugged into an artificial coma and rescued!
3. Finally, we all as individuals battle different kinds of fears, hence we must not impose ours on our kids. Had we not taken our kids along, we would not have known that they could go on it. In fact, they actually want to go back! Ei these kids! Hmmm.
As I continue on my journey to become a global brand for women empowerment, I face all sorts of hurdles; uncertainties, self-doubt, fear of failure, fear of being laughed at,etc but the vision on my heart is too fabulous not to come to reality. I will press on, repeating positive mantras to myself, keeping my eye on that vision and my mind on my Father in Heaven.
As for the Kakum walkway, I will go back to finish it another time and when I do, I will know that I have finally graduated from the Pre-school of Bravery.
I will overcome!
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