There was a strong feeling that someone was standing behind me. This was signaled by the look on my friend' so face. Then I turned. When I did, he smiled as if he had something to tell me. But he said nothing at all.

I was just about parting with Obaa Hemaa, my friend.  He moved to the right to give way, as I headed for the door. Then he took a seat; Obaa said with a smile on her face "Akua, my cousin here has been dying to meet you”.

 I was quite thrilled.  I beamed with my signature smile and stretched out for a hand shake.

"Akua, words cannot express how pleased I am to meet you. I have seen you a couple of times here and my cousin speaks so well of you. Could that be one good reason why am dying to meet you?" he said. I smiled back and thanked him for his kind words. 

The next thing I remember, he was arranging a date with me on the phone. He wanted an opportunity where we could both get to know each other. .. At least that is what he said.  We did agree to go on a date. He picked me up on the said date, he was 10 minutes late.

I mentioned on a very light note that I'd be happier next time if I didn't have to wait for 10 minutes. I know he wasn't pleased with my remark however,  I sincerely believe I'd rather be forthcoming with how I prefer to be treated than to pretend not to be bothered when in fact I am.

On our first date, I confess that we had a great time. It was characterized with good laughter and sincere conversation on just anything that came to mind.  That is all there was in our evening together until he brought in the awkward one. “Akua, I have observed you for a while and I believe that I am in love with you. I am sure we'll make a good pair”. 

He paused at this point because he realized that was not as excited as he expected me to be, though I was inwardly amused.  Then he continued. .. "look Akua, I really want to make you happy"," and I will do anything for you".  Much as I liked Kwesi back, I leaned back and said to him " I think that is a very modest intension you have there for me. I am curious though; how do you intend to make me happy? And do just anything for me?"

Then a long moment of silence ensued. ...

My name is Akua Mansa. Growing up, I heard a million times that I was a pretty and intelligent girl. And now that I am a grown woman working as a Civil Engineer, I have heard many times how gracefully I am growing.  I have worked smartly and hard enough for everything I have. I do believe that I deserve happiness except that I am uncertain if I can make another person responsible for that; unless I trust that person beyond what the Lord allows me to.

When I asked Kwesi to outline his action plan to make me happy, he looked disappointed... probably in me. I think he should rather have been disappointed in himself for making an empty promise,  or merely repeating what he had heard in tales and novels to me. It is true that most men do not find my company amusing because I am awake to the truths of life and would rather not be misled. 

Now, for a moment, let’s assume that Kwesi is an honest man who truly thinks that I deserve to be happy and wants to be responsible for it. I would respect and appreciate him for that. Further assuming that our wonderful relationship ends up in marriage, not all the holy spirit in Pentecost or the discipline in Methodist can guarantee a perpetually happy marriage where the man is the sole giver of that happiness.

 To the best of my knowledge a husband can lose his job for years until he finds another, a husband can be bedridden a year after marriage or possibly die years into the marriage. Which of these did Kwesi take into consideration before issuing his generous promise? Should any of these happen after our marriage, wouldn’t I resent him for my dashed hopes? For a woman with a trained mind, I would rather Kwesi assures me of an unconditional commitment, mutual respect, dedication, mutual support and understanding.  If I am willing to go through the storms and triumphs of life with him, he can be sure to have a partner who understands partnership and not scholarship.

Unfortunately, I made the ‘happy maker’ sad for the rest of that night. A date that was supposed to be fairytale-like was ruined by my lousiness. My best guess is that he didn’t have an answer to my two little questions.