A Public Relations Practitioner, Linda Andoh, has admonished women not to enter marriage with a mindset of solely depending on their husbands.
According to her, it is the best practice for any woman to be financially independent before venturing into marriage.
“There are people who think it’s the duty of the man to take care of them, but every woman needs to have her own source of income before going into marriage,” she said.
She said this as part of discussions on Joy FM’s Strong and Sassy show on Wednesday.
Mrs. Andoh stated that any woman who does not attain financial independence or is unable to cater for her personal needs is not ready for marriage.
“I personally have a problem with women who think it’s the responsibility of the man to take care of me. Yes, it’s the man’s responsibility, but in the case where the man is not able to take care of you, what happens to you?” she quizzed.
“He can be the richest man, but when he’s not there what happens to you?”
She gave an instance where a friend suffered dire consequences because she did not financially secure herself in marriage.
“I know someone who got married, she was working and then they wanted to have kids, but it was becoming challenging, so she had to sacrifice the job because it was having a toll on her physically, and this was what the doctors had advised.
“So she stops working, eventually gets pregnant, the first baby comes, the second baby comes. She wanted to go back to work after her second child, but that wasn’t working because it wasn’t easy getting a job and her husband who was an entrepreneur was involved in an accident.
“Now, this is his own job and it’s not like he worked in a corporate world where there are policies that would be triggered in such instance. He’s someone who runs his own business and he can’t do that anymore and the family is solely dependent on him. So when it happens that way, what do you do?”
Thus, stressing the need for one not to venture into marriage without being able to cater for their needs.
“You should be able to take care of yourself as a woman, if you can’t, you have no business with marriage. You shouldn’t go into marriage without being able to cater for yourself,” she said.
She said this as part of discussions that centered on “Things every girl should do before marriage.”
Mental Health Nurse, Brenda Mawuse Agbo who was also a guest on the show shared a similar view.
On her part, she entreated parents to instill in their wards a habit of managing their finances and saving for their future in order not to create an instance of dependency on their husbands when they get married.
“I have a 14-year-old daughter. She saves and sometimes I even fall on her when I’m financially distressed,” she added.
The bucket list of items before marriage
Asked by host Animwaa Anim Addo if there was a bucket list for girls before marriage, they both said yes..
“The first that should be on the list should be financial independence. As a woman, please be financially independent before you think of marriage,” Linda said.
The other thing she mentioned was, purpose.
“It’s important to have a bucket list if you’re a young lady and you’re not married yet, because we live in the moment. Yes you plan towards the future but you have today, you don’t to live a life where you’re always focusing on the future. You’re lying to yourself. There are certain things you should be able to do now as you’re single and then when the man comes into your life, it becomes a compliment because there are certain things you cannot do when a man comes into the picture.
In addition, she noted that “as a woman, you need to enjoy life and you should set goals for yourself. The man coming into the picture has his goals. So when you get married and somehow your goals are conflicting, what do you do with yours?”
"There are things that I’m not saying are impossible, but become a challenge when marriage comes in. If you have someone who is understanding it makes sense but you should have your personal goals and work at achieving them," she advised.
Also, both agreed that there was a need for emotional maturity before anyone ventured into marriage.
“Marriage is hard work that needs emotional maturity. So if you’re not emotionally prepared you cannot survive it. Some do not get to that level, so you realise that they don’t only get themselves emotionally tortured, but they go on to drag the other person along and this will have a toll on the marriage,” she said.
Brenda added that as a woman, “you have to understand yourself first and know what you can tolerate before you can say you are willing to venture into marriage.”
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