Dear God,

If I may briefly introduce myself, I am the son of the Koko seller in Kasoa and I come from Ghana. In case you are wondering which country Ghana is, it is one of the countries that won nothing in the just ended Olympic Games in Rio and yet, its Sports Minister and its GFA President are quarreling and behaving like nursery one boys.  

In case you still want more description of where I come from, my country Ghana is the very same country where your one and only human Angel without wings, Bishop Obinim, was detained for more than 48 hours and the Montie 3 became tourist  attraction  items in our prison. Baba God…did you just ask who the Montie 3 people are…?

Well, those three musketeers were the people who opened their mouth wide while their brains were still asleep and fortunately or unfortunately, the King Solomons’ around our Bole Bamboi Presido has advised that their punishment should be curtailed…….hmmmm God,.I just hope the President’s Council or Counselors will also recognize that there are more important people in our prisons whose expertise will be more beneficial to Ghana if they are pardoned.

Baba, I know you are a very busy person so I will go straight to the reason for this letter. I will first like to confess that my little observation in this part of my world has brought me more questions than my mother the Koko seller can answer. Please Baba God, I pray you don’t get offended with my questions:  were you really sleeping like Akufo Addo during the time of creation resulting in the creation of Ghana mistakenly? Or did you intentionally created Ghana for your own comic relief?

Could it also be that the early white men who gave us the Bible and made away with our gold were the ones who created Ghana?

Baba God, if the later is the case, then most of the youth in my country are begging for such an opportunity once more. If only those white men would come again and pack them like Mama’s kose in a glass container to Oyibo-land, they will forever worship you. Baba, the young people in my country think you are not fair ooooo; they naively believe you put more milk, honey, and green pastures in the cold lands while you only put unchewable grasses on our land. Please Baba, can you let those young people in my country know that our wahala is not your doing but rather the fault of our demigod politicians?

Baba God, if it is true that you created Ghana for your own comic relief, then I can imagine you truly have a good sense of humor. I believe strongly that Ghana and Ghanaians sometimes make you laugh aaaaa then you want to fall inside Virgin Mary's soup. Baba, do you know Kumawood has released a new movie titled ‘Obinim Amane hunu’ Part 1 and 2? Please, Baba God, in case you want to visit Ghana anytime soon, be highly informed that the country is currently charged up with political tours and accountability here and there.

Even the color of the trotro you sit in and the kind of song you listen to will be used to determine the political party you belong to. However, thanks to Prez Mahama, some of us have developed the ‘Dead Goat Syndrome’ and we will show the Popcorn Politicians in town that the thumb can be mightier than their pockets. Baba, very sadly, some Ghanaians are proving that they are indeed cheaper than pure water. These people are selling their kokromoti power to our Aki and Pawpaw NDC and NPP; the very same parties who are playing hide and seek or piloloo with their Manifestos which will never be fulfilled anyway.

Baba, I do not claim to be one of your prophets, but I can say that Papa Kwasi Ndoum will not win the 2016 elections. Please God, are you not a Destiny Changer? Please… make a way in this Ndoum’s man’s life ooo ton!! Talking about who will win, Baba God, did you truly tell Bishop Owusu Bempah that the Elephant’s Short man will take the 2016 crown? God, please wait oo……One of Obinim’s little angels also claimed you said the Bole Bamboi ambassador will retain the seat. Baba God, please come again, this one di3333!!  I am confused.

Baba, I am very certain I am not the only person who is confused oooo; majority of Ghanaians are too. Ghanaians are confused because of how far our so-called men of God have taken your Ministry. Thanks to them, every corner of Ghana including trotro is used for church services. Baba, I strongly believe that if there is just one mistake in your creation, it has to do with the fact that you created more working days than Sabbath day. The way Ghanaians go to church from Monday to Monday, I believe heaven will be like another reunion of Ghanaians in a sweet foreign land. Please God, in case I have not made the heaven list yet, would you mind letting me know if all the little angels in Ghana will make it? Baba, I sincerely doubt most of our men of God will like to go to your heaven because most of them are living heaven on earth right here in GH. Their riches, their cars, their watches, their mansions, their long mouth shoes, their skinny multi-coloured suits, their nose catching perfumes, and  their blinbling …..hmmm Baba God, I said your men of God wÉ” krom (dey town). The miracle business is really booming.

Baba, from what is currently ongoing in my country, I find it hard to understand why your son Jesus Christ was able to gather only twelve Apostles? Did the people at the time of Jesus not know that there is plenty of cash selling your messages?  Hmm, I sometimes conclude that only Judas Iscariot knew the trick that when you are betrayed, one stands a chance of earning some shillings. Now, thanks to modernism, your so-called men of God are betraying you left and right and gathering cash waawaaaa.

One cedi of Mama’s Koko at Kasoa is sold millions of  Ghana Cedis by your men of God in churches; the price of oil has shot up because your men are busily marketing it in your church at high prices; your church has become a bathing place for women who want babies; your holy grounds have become a ground for fortune tellers and lotto number givers; your men of God have become witch hunters and the congregation sadly watch on  as your Church  has  become a dumping site for their dreams because the politicians have been unable to redeem their many promises.

Dear God, before I end my letter, I have two requests.  

First, if ever you are creating me again in the next life, please let me come in the form of money and not human being, just in the form of GHc50 note. I desperately want to see how money rules in the country. I would want to know how our men in black suit on the street and how our men in gown on the bench sell their value for money. I would also want to know how citizens exchange their thumb power for money and how qualified students are denied higher education far money; and finally, how money makes some small brains become lawmakers in Ghana.

Baba God, I can see Ghana going bankrupt immediately after the elections because of how our politicians are spraying and reducing to waste the resources of the country in the name of second term and first term.

If only you can let me know who would win the 2016 elections so that I can be in the position to inform Ghanaians. This might end the kind of waste ongoing in the country. 

Please God, if you are ready to let me know who will win the upcoming December polls, please email me through bibizim@yahoo.com or WhatsApp me on 0540318708. Baba God, I believe you know what WhatsApp is?

Thank you for the attention.

Please continue to Bless Ghana, me, my readers, and my mother the Koko seller at Kasoa.

Yours faithfully,

The Koko Seller’s Son