Dear Africa,

This is me, your old friend. Ah, you remember me, don't you? Of course you do. 

I am the foreigner. I am the one who visited you many many moons ago with my siblings and told you things that you found amazing and showed you new ways of looking at things you already knew way back when you were the cradle of civilization. 

I am the one who told you that you had no history because the history that is barely written is no history. I am the one who told you that oral tradition is inferior to written literature and who told you that you had no past before I came to you. 

I am the one who discovered you. I am the one who marks the beginning of your history and your stories because you started to exist after I found you. Ah, you know remember, right?

I am the one who told you that your culture and traditions are of no consequence because I brought to you stories of better tidings. I taught you to use words like 'fetish' to describe everything you did that I didn't understand. I told you to discard your ways of dressing, how you kept your hair, how you use your beads, how you pierce your ears and noses and other parts of your body, how you drew intricate designs on your body and how you worshipped your God. We even discussed ways of the bedroom. Don't be shy…you know we did.

I introduced you to a new way of life. And how receptive you were and still are!

But I am back. I am back to tell you that some of the things I told you to stop doing…you can start doing. Oh yes. Because we have moved on. You can go back to your 'fetish' way of worshipping because we have also found it. You call it witchcraft, we call it magic. Our churches are now even emptying, as we find the spaces they occupy better used as pubs. You should see the one where the bar is situated right on a former altar. 

You can now draw on your bodies. You called it drawings, we call it tattoos. You can pierce because we found the piercing way of life too. 

And, oh, I told you that man to man is not good, right? We have changed that too. We have even moved on to sleeping with animals. 

How long will these new changes last, you ask? Well, we are still evolving. 

In the meantime, if you do have any troubles with rewriting some of the laws I taught you to draft and implement, I am ready to help you. 

You know I am just a call away. You don't need a mind of your own when you have mine.

I appreciate so much that you listen to me and implement my ways. This is how friendship should be. 

Later then.

Your friend,
The Foreigner

PS: In your last letter, you asked what my stance is on polygamy. I am now experimenting with that, and also with polyamory. I shall advise on that soon.

Written by Nana Awere Damoah