A fresh storm is blowing through the Republic of Uncommon Sense — Uncle Sam just padlocked his visa gates, and the outrage is as thick as our excuses. If your cousin’s visitor visa turned into a ten-year Uber career, this one’s for you. Come for the proverbs, stay for the irony.

Read the full roast below. #VisaVultures #OnceUponATimeInGhana #Satire #JimmyAglah
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Once upon a time in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, a fresh storm blew through our WhatsApp chats: Uncle Sam has snapped shut the multiple-entry gates. That five-year visa, once waved like a gold-plated club card, is now a three-month single-use pass — good for one handshake, one funeral, and maybe one well-timed overstay.

Cue the outrage — keyboards ablaze, comment sections on fire. But pause: whose cousin didn’t slip into a Brooklyn basement on a visitor’s visa and vanish into Uber driving legend? The crab must not blame the river for its crooked back — we bent it ourselves with shortcuts and sealed lips.

Ablakwa, our resident social media musketeer, lobbed barbs at a US senator, and behold — reciprocity came down like a sledgehammer. The US claims we don’t give their folks long-term welcomes either. Here, "reciprocity" means, "If you slap me, I smile and invoice you for emotional damages."

But Uncle Sam’s list doesn’t stop there: deport Cousin Kojo when caught, clean ghost birth certificates, trade bedtime stories for real intelligence, and please, stop treating visas like family relics. And who certifies our good behaviour? Not us — the US alone holds the scorecard.

It’s not our first dance. Back in the day, starched suits handled this behind closed doors — polite murmurs, quiet fixes. But now, the squeeze is so tight even TikTok Professors hand out proverbs: "Build your own country," they chuckle, thumbs busy. "You’ve got gold and oil, yet you want free entry?"

And the fourth estate? Gagged by the uneasy truth: everyone’s uncle, sister, or old classmate is overstaying somewhere. Why thunder headlines when the thunder rolls into your own backyard? Some stories we whisper about; this one, we just nod knowingly and move on.

So here we squat: crab-backs bent, blaming the river. Europe? Tighter gates. China? Higher walls. Middle East? Same locked door. Retaliate? Maybe ban a senator from Kotoka, slap a surcharge on visas, stick "Travel Within" bumper stickers on our tro-tros — maybe pigs will fly too.

In the end, maybe, just maybe, we straighten the crab’s back. So next time Uncle Sam bolts his door, we won’t stand shivering in Accra drizzle, folders in hand, begging for a stamp.

Next week: Honourables and their secret diplomatic passports. They never expire — but our common sense does.