Audio By Carbonatix
CEO of Roverman Productions, James Ebo Whyte, has explained why some men may decide not to talk about the changes in the looks of their spouses, especially in their body shape.
This is in spite of the fact that the men may not be too happy with the change in body shape.
He explained that women are very sensitive about such issues and may feel hurt or offended once their partners raise the issue.
"It’s one of the things that when you talk about, it seems unfair because it’s unreasonable to expect that the woman would be able to keep her shape after having children.
Touching on the cause of the problem, he mentioned that it is because some women tend to give up on their looks once they get married and start having kids.
"There are women that as soon as they marry they let go of taking care of their looks. The things they used to do to look sharp, they no longer bother much to do that, but men are visual and they are attracted by what they see.
According to him, the phenomenon, which he described as an elephant in the room, has led to breaks in communication between partners and in worst instances has created rifts in marriages.
He stated that what makes the issue more difficult to talk about is that the woman herself knows that I have changed and is not happy about it.
"The unfortunate thing is that if you don't confront this, it is eating you up, you can't talk about this then one day when you can't take it any longer and you speak about it, the question is why now? Why are you talking now because this is the way I've always been so why are you talking now?
"Then the issue then becomes more complicated and so it is eating you up and it begins to show in other things; you don't want to go home, and when you go home, you avoid engagements because you no longer feel comfortable, etc."
He said this breeds other negative things in the relationship such as the man "becoming a little more remote from the woman and he snapping at her or being shabby in talking to her" even when there is no cause for that "and he's talking to her like that because he can't talk about the things he needs to talk about," he added.
Nonetheless, he said both partners can work together to the make the situation better.
"I wish that the man and the woman will together work on this. Men need to understand that this is partly nature and they need help.
"In this case, you can go on training together, [the man] can be the diet Police. Attempt to kill the elephant once. There will be pain but things will get better after that. If the man helps her with working out she would rise up to it and it becomes a bit of fun and it also becomes another way in which we are bonding," he added.
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