Here in Ghana, there seems be a formulaic perception that is handed most Ghanaian youth as the ultimate way to grow into happiness.

"Go to school, finish school, get a job, get married, have kids, and be happy!" raps Ariel the Wellness Coach,.

Yes, most young people, particularly women, have been socialised to believe that this is the only way to happiness.

But despite how glamorous and simple marriage is painted to be, the aforementioned order can be problematic.

Why? Because most people are not made to understand the reality that the institution of marriage is not a bed of roses.

Therefore, when a marriage does not work out as planned, it has an impact on the person and makes it challenging for the individual to find a solution to enable him or her adjust to the circumstance.

For a person like Ariel the Wellness Coach, she had to learn this the hard way, as she reveals that she was the unhappiest in her life when she was married, but the failings almost cost her her life.

Reminiscing her past while playing guest on JoyFM’s Home Affairs, January 28, she disclosed how she suffered depression during her marriage.

Her host, as usual, was Edem Knight-Tay.

https://youtu.be/--CPVp0vYnk

According to Ariel, her depression was caused by the toxic environment that was created allegedly by her spouse during their marriage, attributing the toxicity to the fact that their perception about life were poles apart.

She admits that prior to her marriage, she had seen flashes of the red flags in her spouse, however due to her quest to attain freedom from her strict father, she persuaded herself to believe she could change her man.

“… I thought: I love him. You know when you are in love, I thought Oh! I love him he will change; oh, I love him, I can change him…

“Nobody called me to sit down and say, can you live with this person, that person, this idea he has, this concept he has, is it something you can do? Nobody called me to that awareness. So I wasn’t counseled at all," she disclosed.

Ariel also indicated that that she was drawn to her husband due to his passion for his dream and his zeal for independence.

Despite this positive characteristics, the life coach revealed that the lack of effective communication seemed to be a prominent issue in her marriage.

She explained that due to this, they could never arrive at an understanding. “Our communication was totally not good,” she said.

“I like the talking, he doesn’t like talking… if you raise any important conversation, he won’t respond. He won’t talk about it.

“And so I tried to talk and then it seemed like you are always thinking you know (it all). So that was one of our clashes.”

Despite these, she admitted in the emotion-filled outpouring that she tried for a long time to adjust to suit her husband. However, she indicated that her efforts were in vain, and that eventually intensified her depression.

“But after my second child in 2006, I was so depressed, I almost died during pregnancy. It was so bad. I could see myself in visions that I was going to die.

“I mean there was a day I knew that when I put my head on the bed, that was going to be the end of me because I couldn’t reach out to him in anyway,” she said.

Ariel went on to say that her husband often did not provide her with the emotional support or the emotional environment she needed to thrive.

She recalled the extreme ends she sometimes went just to get the attention of her husband.

Ariel described an embarrassing situation in which she claimed, while taking care of her baby, she drank herself to stupor out of desperation to get the attention of her husband.

However, the life coach testifies that by reading books by author Joyce Meyer, she was able to rejuvenate herself and realise she needed to take responsibility for herself, as she realised she was the only one in charge of and responsible for her well-being. 

She insists that one's well being is their personal responsibility, and they dare not leave that in another's charge.