My heart would pound faster, blood pressure would elevate and the levels of my adrenaline and noradrenaline would increase.

And yes the hair around the regions of my nape would tingle and bingo, I would explode like a volcano and unload my hyper-fury on my target. I would give in to anger and lose my self-control as a result.

That is what anger does to me. 

I am so sensitive that I could react to the least trivial things. I am the type who would be angry over a delay in the delivery of an order to the point of not realising that I had been given the wrong one.

It was that bad. Oh yes!

Nothing mattered when I’m angered. My body would shiver with rage and at that moment I could use the most painful words at whoever appeared on my radar. 

Yes, it can get that bad. 

In fact, I have had moments where I stood in front of my mirror to rehearse the lines I would use on the person who was the source of my anger.

This is sickening, you may say but that was me then.

Is anger hereditary?

I am blessed to have a wonderful woman who is sweet, kind, industrious, supportive, warm-hearted and very generous as a mother. She radiates warmth and represents what every child wants to see in a woman.

Beyond these attributes, she could take on a different personality when she gets angry. She says the most terrible things when she is in that element.

I can’t count the number of times I have wondered whether anger could be inherited. At other times too, I am driven to conclude that anger is a spirit that torments mankind. Else what could explain the sudden changes that take place in the life of an angry person? Such a transformation for someone to say terrible things and then feel remorse in the next minute. The aftermath of anger for me, all the more confirms that anger is a spirit because I would, usually, ask myself why I said what I said. I would be filled with regret and then wonder why I hadn’t handled things differently.

I would find myself telling my victim later on that “I was angry, [and that] I didn’t mean what I said.” But I said what I said and it made perfect sense when I said it and now my victim is hurt by that.

Are our actions during anger justified?

After several anger episodes, I realised that sometimes what you are angry about has nothing to do with the present situation. The truth of this transformed me completely and it would do the same thing for you if you let it.

Your anger could often stem from something deeper than you can imagine. It could be a baggage of anger you are carrying from past broken relationships, unfulfilled life or as a result of low self-esteem. Knowingly or unknowingly, we project our anger from some aspects of our lives onto present situations, which explain why we sometimes overreact and blast some people who did nothing to deserve that.

We all have moments when we spew out hurtful words under the guise of “putting people in their place” or “giving it to them” and it doesn’t help much that we have family and friends who applaud us for it and give us the “no-nonsense” title which some of us tend to like.

Guard your heart, tongue

But granted you know the power of your words would you still speak the way you do when you are angry? The momentary satisfaction you gain from crushing someone’s spirit with your words would be outweighed by the repercussions. Marriages broken, relationships destroyed and opportunities lost just because some people were uncharitable with their words. Some people have missed their blessings because of their unkind words.

Your words can make or unmake you. They can heal or break any relationship however strong it may seem. The words we utter can be a poison or usher us into fruitfulness. Don’t think your angry disposition was given to you at birth. 

Anger isn’t hereditary. Know this truth lest it serves as an excuse for you to continue to hurt others.

Let no one have power over you to the point of putting you in a position where you would find yourself going angry and spewing vile words in return. Resist words that can mar your beauty.

Not everything people do to us deserves a reaction from us. There are kind words you can use to register your displeasure at anything. Do not break and hurt people with your words. Rather choose to control your words.

Just remember, life and death are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof, says the Bible.

Let self- control be the fruit of your spirit and may the peace of God which surpasses all understanding garrison your heart.

Remember to strike out anger from your life. This is Sharon Strikes.


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Author Doris Naa Tackie