Audio By Carbonatix
The “How to Get Away with Murder” star, 56, described some of the abusive situations she endured growing up, both inside and outside the home, on Monday’s episode of the “Making Space with Hoda Kotb” podcast.
Davis recalled being brutally bullied by young boys, who would chase her and call her racial slurs.
“It was day after day. That’s what it felt like. Was I actually running for my life? Would they actually have killed me? I don’t know about that, but that’s what it felt like,” Davis said.
She described how one boy attacked her, telling her not to call him Black.
“The young boy who, who literally was maybe a shade and a half lighter than me, who said, ‘You don’t call me Black. You don’t call me Black, Viola. You’re Black. I’m Portuguese.’ And he punched me,” she recalled.
“The power of that is just not how I was defined by those eight or nine boys. It’s how the world defined me. It’s that fear of being Black. What Black meant in that, in this powerful caste system we have of how you treat people based on perceived value and worth. And I was worthless. That’s what it told me. I was a child.”
Home was not a safe haven for Davis, whose father physically abused her mother.
“If I felt like I was running for my life from the eight or nine boys, I felt then I had to go into a home where I was running for my life,” she said.
“That’s what it felt like when I would witness the violence between my mom and dad. I keep remembering these moments of violence that even happened at night in the middle of the street. And not one window opened. No one came out to help.”
She said that as a child, she “prayed" no one would see them, but as an adult, she looks back and thinks, “Why didn’t anybody see us or help us?”
Davis described one way, as a young child, she processed the incredible amount of trauma she faced in her daily life.
“I had a whole technique of leaving my body,” she said. “It was pretty awesome, by the way. … I’d always go into the bathroom. And I’d stay there — I’d just sit on the top of the toilet seat. And I would stay there for the longest time. And I had a whole thing where I just would focus on one part of my body."
"Usually my finger. And I shut everything down. And after a certain amount of time, I literally would leave my body and I’d go up to the ceiling, I’d turn around, and I would look at myself,” she added.
The actor likened it to using a fictional device called a Pensieve from the “Harry Potter” series — a magical bowl you can use to store your memories outside your body.
“You would remove a bad thought that was just causing you so much pain. And in order to give yourself some relief, you put it in the bowl,” she said. “That’s what it felt like. So I did that a lot. I dreamed. I tried to achieve. And I kept secrets.”
The Emmy winner explained that for a while, keeping her home life secret helped her to "survive.”
“I didn’t understand anything about secrets actually eroding you,” she said. “That wasn’t a part of my vocabulary, my understanding of human emotion. I just felt like if, if no one knew, then how they would see me is based on what I was achieving outside of my house.”
As she got older, Davis said she continued to separate her private reality from her external achievements.
“I disconnected … like a lot of people who go through trauma, when they compartmentalize,” she said. “That’s what I did. I compartmentalized. I used drive and ambition to replace feeling and vulnerability.”
Ultimately, though, Davis said she realized that she needed to face her pain in order to truly connect with herself and others.
“Here’s what I believe. I believe that what connects us is not just the joy, is not just the achievements. It’s also the sadness. It’s also the pain,” she said. “I feel that if I cannot share my pain with someone else — the pain, the joy, the achievements, then it’s not real connection. But in order for me to share that, for me to have the ability to share that, I have to unpack it."
Latest Stories
-
Afroquality announces ‘Becoming Us’ – a first-of-its-kind PanAfrican micro series redefining how brands tell African stories
18 minutes -
Government’s reduction of Lithium Royalty Rate from 10% to 5% raises serious concerns – APL
47 minutes -
“Africa cannot afford to be a bystander” – Mahama
47 minutes -
Halt ratification of revised lithium agreement between Ghana and Barari
56 minutes -
Gov’t will continue to prioritise quality healthcare at all levels – Vice President
58 minutes -
Why the NDC’s reduced Lithium Royalty Rate proposal is “Strange and Legally Baseless” – Africa Policy Lens
1 hour -
Your non-involvement enabled us to speedily approve our estimates – Ayariga trolls angry Minority
1 hour -
Christian Council commends government’s Sanitation Week initiative ahead of Christmas
1 hour -
Ghana risks losing about US$630 million if government reduces lithium royalty rate from 10% to 5% – Africa Policy Lens warns
2 hours -
Parliament approves budget allocations despite Minority’s chaotic scenes over Kpandai dispute
2 hours -
GhanaFest Europe debuts in The Hague, showcasing trade and culture
2 hours -
Commercial Curiosity: The Unseen Driver of Opportunity
2 hours -
Mahama calls for public–private partnerships to make healthcare more accessible
3 hours -
Rules being twisted to perpetrate injustice – Oppong Nkrumah on NPP’s withdrawal of cooperation
3 hours -
Chaos erupts in Parliament as Minority storms centre of floor over Kpandai seat controversy
3 hours
