The bane of human existence resides in being accepted and appreciated by all regardless of tribe, colour, occupation religion or gender.

However, while we all desire to live a life where we are free to do whatever we please and what makes us happy, there are some people who sometimes make this impossible.

There are two types of these people, the positive critic and critic with an agenda.

The positive critic comes from a place of love…although they criticize you, they do so in manner that seeks to transform you rather than to break your defences. They may go hard at you but deep down you know its because they have your best interest at heart.

But the other critic seeks nothing but your downfall and will stop at nothing until they achieve it.

It is pride to reject the criticism from a positive heart, but it is poison to accept the criticism from a negative heart.

To be criticized with negative intention means that you have aroused something within someone else such as jealousy or a feeling of inadequacy. In order for the hater to feel better and elevated somehow, they need to put other people down.

When someone condemns our work, comments unkindly on our appearance, judges our parenting style or disapproves of any of our actions, it is a pure and total reflection of them, not us.

Take relief and comfort that a critic's words often have nothing to do with you at all.

That said, criticisms can be a good thing depending on you receive them. Here are some reasons why being criticized can help you develop.

It teaches you about yourself

This point cannot be underrated. Criticisms can throw you off board, sometimes when you hear the kind of things people say about what you do (especially an online writer like me) you will just feel like sticking your head in a deep hole and not bringing it back out.

Sometimes some responses can be helpful as they point out something that you never considered or they highlight a different way of looking at something. But be mindful because at the end of the day, you should be confident about who you are and not be influenced by other people.  The way you let criticism impact you is a great indicator of how strong you are becoming.

There will always be people who disagree with you or who dislike your ideas and actions. Forgive them if they upset you. Remember that the road to success invites a lot of critics so the sooner you know what to take on board and what to release, the better. The fact that criticism exists at all also reminds us that all we can ever do is our best - speak our truth, deliver our greatest work and surrender the rest (to God).

It only proves you worthy of people’s energy

When someone is talking about you it means that you are affecting them somehow (never mind whether it’s a good or bad way). They are using their time and attention to talk about you. This may sound funny but being the subject of someone or people’s criticism can be a very flattering thing. You’re the star of the moment, love it!

It assures you that you’re on the right track

You should expect more critics as you go further or higher in life. It only means more people are paying attention to you and I must say that as creative as you are, the most important thing you need is some ‘supreme compliment’.

It means you are doing something

In order to be criticized, it means you are taking action in some form. If you woke up in the morning and you spoke to no one, didn’t step out of your room, then nobody will say anything about you. But as long as you’re up and doing people will talk and that only means you’re on track.

It can make you better

When criticism is positively fuelled and constructive, it can help you improve, grow and learn. You should appreciate hearing useful and considerate feedback about what you do. Take it all in good faith.

It shows you who your critics really are

Negatively fueled critics show us who they really are. Often these people are unfulfilled so they tend to be unsupportive of people who appear to be doing something meaningful with their lives. The way critics feel about you or what you do is a reflection of how they feel about their own lives.