It's inevitable. Your boyfriend gets uncharacteristically quiet as he stares out the window of the car or  apartment. You can see it in his eyes, maybe he unconsciously furrows his brow and you just have to know what he's working out in his head. So you ask him: "What are you thinking about?" He snaps out of his trance and turns to you, looking slightly annoyed. "Nothing," he mumbles. And then he goes back to either being a liar and thinking, or meditating blissfully.

So what is he really thinking when you ask him that question? And why does he tell you he's not thinking at all? Well, come on, gang, take my hand and let's go on a journey of his errant thoughts.

”‹1. "I've been quiet for too long and she's about to call me out on it." ”‹ Sometimes, we just know when we've been thinking too long and we know the question (and subsequent argument over whether or not we can really be thinking about "nothing") is coming.

2. "I need to come up with a bulletproof plan for dinner tonight." ”‹ ”‹”‹We're hungry. We're going to give you our second-favorite food idea, which you'll say no to. Then we'll suggest our favorite, and we have a take-out option on deck just in case. If you say no to all three of these things, we're just leaving and eating.

3. "That cloud looks like a butt." ”‹ The only reason we don't want to tell you is because the moment has already passed and if we tell you now you're going to think we just think everything looks like a butt. Hence, nothing.

4. The day he pulled his pants down in front of the whole class and even the teacher laughed and it haunts him to this day. ”‹If we had the life skills and wherewithal that we have now back then, we would've handled that situation differently. We're an adult with a job and that day still haunts us.

5. "Everyone thinks flying would be the best super power, but really, it'd be the power to freeze time." ”‹ We'd use it to sleep in every day. And we don't want to tell you we're thinking about this because our heart would break if you told us you were one of those "flying" fanatics.

6. How they would handle any given situation. ”‹Things could go ”‹Die Hard”‹ at any moment and we need to think about how we'd handle things. If guys are supposed to think about sex most of the time, the rest of the time we're thinking about how we'd fight terrorists.

7. Similarly, how they would handle an apocalypse situation. ”‹ This also deserves a lot of thought. It's important to consider if the building you're in could make a good fortress to protect against the zombie horde.

8. How pretty you are. ”‹ This sounds like a cop out, and sometimes it ”‹absolutely is. But hear me out: sometimes it also isn't. And you can never prove what we're thinking. YOU'RE NOT THE THOUGHT POLICE.

”‹9. We're debating whether or not it's worth pooping in your bathroom. ”‹ Can we hold it? Is the discomfort on our drive home worth saving you (and/or your roommate/parents/siblings) the horror of what's to come? We're creating a complex pro and cons list in our head.

”‹10. Something literally inexplicable. ”‹ We've veered wildly between so many disconnected thoughts that it's pretty much impossible to explain right now. Please don't make us.

”‹11. He honestly doesn't remember. ”‹ We were daydreaming, and saying "nothing" sounds better than "it was such a waste of time my brain didn't even bother filing it away in temporary storage."

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