It's inevitable. Your boyfriend gets uncharacteristically quiet as he stares out the window of the car or apartment. You can see it in his eyes, maybe he unconsciously furrows his brow and you just have to know what he's working out in his head. So you ask him: "What are you thinking about?" He snaps out of his trance and turns to you, looking slightly annoyed. "Nothing," he mumbles. And then he goes back to either being a liar and thinking, or meditating blissfully.
So what is he really thinking when you ask him that question? And why does he tell you he's not thinking at all? Well, come on, gang, take my hand and let's go on a journey of his errant thoughts.
”‹1. "I've been quiet for too long and she's about to call me out on it." ”‹ Sometimes, we just know when we've been thinking too long and we know the question (and subsequent argument over whether or not we can really be thinking about "nothing") is coming.
2. "I need to come up with a bulletproof plan for dinner tonight." ”‹ ”‹”‹We're hungry. We're going to give you our second-favorite food idea, which you'll say no to. Then we'll suggest our favorite, and we have a take-out option on deck just in case. If you say no to all three of these things, we're just leaving and eating.
3. "That cloud looks like a butt." ”‹ The only reason we don't want to tell you is because the moment has already passed and if we tell you now you're going to think we just think everything looks like a butt. Hence, nothing.
4. The day he pulled his pants down in front of the whole class and even the teacher laughed and it haunts him to this day. ”‹If we had the life skills and wherewithal that we have now back then, we would've handled that situation differently. We're an adult with a job and that day still haunts us.
5. "Everyone thinks flying would be the best super power, but really, it'd be the power to freeze time." ”‹ We'd use it to sleep in every day. And we don't want to tell you we're thinking about this because our heart would break if you told us you were one of those "flying" fanatics.
6. How they would handle any given situation. ”‹Things could go ”‹Die Hard”‹ at any moment and we need to think about how we'd handle things. If guys are supposed to think about sex most of the time, the rest of the time we're thinking about how we'd fight terrorists.
7. Similarly, how they would handle an apocalypse situation. ”‹ This also deserves a lot of thought. It's important to consider if the building you're in could make a good fortress to protect against the zombie horde.
8. How pretty you are. ”‹ This sounds like a cop out, and sometimes it ”‹absolutely is. But hear me out: sometimes it also isn't. And you can never prove what we're thinking. YOU'RE NOT THE THOUGHT POLICE.
”‹9. We're debating whether or not it's worth pooping in your bathroom. ”‹ Can we hold it? Is the discomfort on our drive home worth saving you (and/or your roommate/parents/siblings) the horror of what's to come? We're creating a complex pro and cons list in our head.
”‹10. Something literally inexplicable. ”‹ We've veered wildly between so many disconnected thoughts that it's pretty much impossible to explain right now. Please don't make us.
”‹11. He honestly doesn't remember. ”‹ We were daydreaming, and saying "nothing" sounds better than "it was such a waste of time my brain didn't even bother filing it away in temporary storage."
- Akuapem Poloo granted ¢80k bail
- Akufo-Addo announces nominees for deputy ministerial positions, elevates Charles Adu-Boahen
- NCA to shut down 49 TV stations for operating without license
- Certify your Covid-19 Corruption Risk Assessment or we will use it as toilet paper – Ursula Owusu-Ekuful to CDA
- Police arrest 40 suspected criminals at Kasoa in Wednesday morning swoop
- GES dispels claims that SHS 3 students reopening date has been postponed again
- Social media users react to Akuapem Poloo’s bail
- Police and NCA officers shut down Nana Agradaa’s Thunder TV, Ice1 TV
- Adu-Boahen elevated to Minister of State at Finance Ministry, Okraku-Mantey gets Deputy Tourism Minister position
- Mark Okraku Mantey appointed Deputy Minister-designate for Tourism, Arts and Culture
Florentino Perez blames Premier League club for ‘infecting’ Super League project
Ghana School of Law to celebrate legacy of Okyeame Baffour Osei Akoto
World’s highest daily rise in Covid cases in India, record deaths
Elizabeth Ohene: How much are we paid?
Covid-19 Corruption Risk Assessment: Every public contract must conform to transparency rule – CDA Director
Enabling livelihoods through food innovations in post-Covid Northern Ghana
MTN Ghana Foundation donates PPEs to Tema General Hospital
ADB presents ¢570,000 to 2020 National Best Farmer
Ghana to experience buoyant economic growth in 2nd half-year – Fitch Solutions
MultiChoice Content Showcase unveils must watch list for 2021
Are cell phone calls on airplane flights inevitable?
Patrick George Quantson: Technology as a tool for overcoming social challenges
Don’t use ABFA to fill expenditure gaps – PIAC to government
Covid-19: US to advise against travel to 80% of countries
Inusah Alhassah: How Colonel Kwadwo Damoah redefined Customs Division of GRA