As the world honours fathers on Father’s Day this Sunday, it’s also worth reflecting on stories from men who, for reasons beyond their control, were denied the chance to become fathers.
These reflections are not merely drawn from abstract surveys, but from real-life experiences shared by men within the “brotherhood” circles and on various social media platforms — stories I have personally monitored and compiled over time.

From heartbreak to frustration, these men reveal a side of the fatherhood conversation that is rarely acknowledged. Here is a compelling look at ten kinds of women who, knowingly or unknowingly, contributed to this reality.

“I'm Not in the Mood” Lady

This is one of the most common experiences many men have encountered in relationships and marriages. These women are often emotionally unavailable or sexually withdrawn, consistently rejecting intimacy over prolonged periods. Despite being ready and willing to start a family, men in such situations often feel sidelined by partners who seem uninterested or “in the mood.”

For many, it took only tenacious effort — through counselling, patience, or honest confrontation — to overcome this hurdle. Others, unfortunately, never got the chance to become fathers due to the emotional disconnect.

The “I'm Not Ready Now” Girl

Although closely related to the aforementioned point, these are women who get pregnant but claim they aren’t ready — emotionally, mentally, or financially. Regardless of the man’s willingness to father the child, she chooses to terminate the pregnancy. Many men describe feeling powerless in this situation.

The Revered Church Girl

Often found in choir groups, ushering teams, or prayer departments, these women guard their public image fiercely. Though they may engage in intimate relationships privately, they may terminate pregnancies to avoid “shame” or disappointing the church community.

The Professional High-Flier

Focused on climbing the career ladder, these women often see motherhood as a hindrance. Several men shared stories of partners who postponed childbearing indefinitely, citing promotions, postgraduate studies, or relocation opportunities.

The Family Hope

Known as “the chosen one,” this woman is the pillar of her family — emotionally, morally, and financially. When such women conceive unexpectedly, especially while unmarried, they often feel pressure to abort to avoid “disgracing” the family or derailing their responsibilities.

The Transactionalist

These women treat relationships and pregnancies as business deals. Before deciding to keep a child, they calculate the man’s income, future potential, and assets. If there’s no “return on investment,” they’re likely to walk away or terminate the pregnancy. Men say these women ask bluntly, “What’s in it for me?”

The Peer-Pressured Socialite

Influenced by trends, social media, and peer groups, these women fear becoming “the odd one out” by settling down or embracing motherhood too soon. They are often more focused on travel, lifestyle content, fashion, or nightlife. They also believe they have more time on their side as women and see no reason to rush into motherhood, especially when they are enjoying their singleness. As a result, when faced with pregnancy, they often choose termination or simply avoid the conversation altogether.

The Trauma-Scarred

These women have experienced abuse, loss, or medical complications related to childbirth or parenting in their past. As a result, they may have deep fears about carrying a pregnancy to term. Even when loved and supported, they may still choose not to become mothers.

The “On My Terms” Feminist

Driven by autonomy and control, these women insist on complete ownership over reproductive choices. Some men report that even in committed relationships, decisions around childbearing are made unilaterally, often with the man informed only after a pregnancy is terminated. The Brotherhood describes such women as “destiny delayers” who behave just like the proverbial “Konongo Kaya”.

The “One That Got Away”

Finally, there are women who simply walk out — sometimes just before or during pregnancy. Whether due to greener pastures, personal doubt, or family influence, their sudden departure leaves men grieving both a lost relationship and the fatherhood that never happened.

In conclusion

While many women have their reasons — valid, complex, and deeply personal — these stories also reveal the often overlooked emotional toll on men. As we celebrate fathers, it is equally important to acknowledge those who wanted to be fathers but were denied the chance. For them, Father’s Day is a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

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The writer, Freeman Kwade, is a journalist, social educator, and Brand and Media Strategist. He is also an adjunct lecturer and a Senior Media Officer at the University of Professional Studies, Accra.