Overview Power struggles are a normal part of the parenting process. As children develop, they want more control over their lives, but parents need to set boundaries. Children with developmental disabilities present a challenge in that they may not understand rules and discipline in the same way their peers do. Children with special needs often have language delays as well, making communication more difficult. Disability does not excuse the need to learn discipline, and parents have to learn how to exert authority over children who may not understand them clearly. Step 1 Watch your body language. We often put so much attention on our words that we forget the importance of nonverbal communication. If you don't back up your words with corresponding behavior and attitude, your child will see through you. This step is particularly important when dealing with language-delayed children because they have only your nonverbal cues to guide them. Step 2 Take a breath. Remain calm during an exchange with your child. Yelling and getting angry merely encourages the same reaction in the child and escalates the situation. Anger prevents you from thinking clearly and undermines your position of authority. It may also cause you to say things you will later regret. Step 3 Give choices. Parents of children with developmental disabilities are tempted to make all the decisions, thinking that the child is unable to do so. This dependence can be the seed of power struggles as children try to control their environments. Allow children to make decisions that are appropriate to their age and cognitive ability. Step 4 Be firm. Don't let the child negotiate and don't give in to tantrums or other tactics. If you give in once, that gives an opening for future conflicts. When your child understands that you mean what you say, he will be less likely to rebel in the future. Step 5 Be flexible. As your child grows, old rules may become too restrictive. You may also find that rules that were appropriate for your other children are not right for this one. This is not because of the developmental disability but because each child is an individual. Never negotiate during a confrontation but be willing to modify the rules after the situation is resolved. Step 6 Don't try to win. It takes two to create a power struggle. You are not fighting for power; you are enforcing a set of rules that will help your child become independent. Removing the desire to win allows you to come up with creative solutions that benefit both of you. Source: livestrong.com