How to handle a divorce with heartache

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Overview Divorce cases represent not only a legally complex process but also one of the most emotionally challenging of all legal proceedings, according to "The Divorce Organizer & Planner" by Brette McWhorter Sember. You may experience significant heartache as you begin the divorce process. Consequently, you need to understand how to handle and manage your divorce case as you encounter and work through the associated heartache. 1. Develop a small group of three or four friends and family members. Use this resource to share your thoughts, problems, fears and concerns. Select people you trust and that you are comfortable opening up to about your divorce issues. 2. Retain the services of an attorney. Although you have the right to represent yourself in a divorce, the accompanying heartache likely will impact your ability to make intelligent decisions. With a lawyer at your side, you can focus more of your attention on overcoming your heartache and not worry so much about the impact your understandable emotions have on the progress of your divorce case. 3. Seek out assistance from a professional therapist or counselor. There are therapists and counselors who specialize in assisting clients dealing with divorce-related heartache. These professionals work both in private practice and through community mental health centers. 4. Limit conversations and other communication with your spouse. Engage in communication only as absolutely necessary. Being abusive in any way to your spouse is counterproductive, but many people find engaging in any extensive communication with a spouse during a divorce only makes resolving heartache more complicated. The emotional pain associated with the marital breakup remains for a longer period than necessary, according to "Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce" by Emily Doskow. * If you worry about the costs of hiring a lawyer, keep in mind that organizations exist that provide no-cost legal representation to people unable to afford attorney fees.

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